<p>I disagree. While it is a likely possibility that it has to do with looks, we simply do not know for sure. That's why I suggested that we should just drop the looks issue. Because in that case we won't make any progress seeing as how we won't ever see how she looks anyway.</p>
<p>I do agree though that it has to do with them and not other guys.</p>
<p>Some people baffle me. adconard, for instance. </p>
<p>"Yes, I agree that situation X is likely caused by factor A, but since we don't know for sure, let's say it's caused by factor non-A, even though we have as little information (none) about non-A as we do about factor A."</p>
<p>If people aren't willing to be honest, there's really no way to offer any constructive advice.</p>
<p>Hmm for my .02 ... I think a smile helps a lot, but even still if the girl is really amazing looking, I may not have the guts to talk to her (maybe I would eventually, but not randomly :-p) But hotter girls totally wold get attention none the less. If no guys are coming at all... I dont think it would be its that they are ALL afraid (likely quite a few though)</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>You make very valid, probable claims GracieLegend. That is, that it simply has to do with her looks.</p>
<p>But, if she is unwilling to show a picture, then what is the point of constantly making posts about it? It doesn't do us any good for now. We can reclaim it and keep theorizing about it all day, but what will the result be? Most likely nothing. I agree, constructive advice is the only good advice. But is it really constructive if the discussion never moves on to other possibilities?</p>
<p>So then why not explore other dimensions that she is more willing to talk about? For instance, maybe she is somewhat oblivious to guys' signals. What will the result be for theorizing this all day? Could very well be nothing as well. But at least we're moving on to other dimensions of her situation that she can be given more insight about. Maybe she (and other people) can get more out of the discussion even if it isn't all that true in her case. In addition, I just think it is sort of wrong to make such a hasty assumption that it is automatically about her looks in this situation. Then again, I made the hasty assumption that she is moderate looking because she said earlier that guys often stare at her and make her uncomfortable, so I will take that back and just simply say I do not know what she looks like.</p>
<p>Not trying to say you're previous propositions and insight about the situation are false by any means. I just think we are better off not going there anymore.</p>
<p>Also, I think the "all guy's are afraid to approach her" theory is very unlikely. Because, as someone else said, at some point there will be guys who will be confident enough to approach the girl. Plus, even less pretty looking girls will still be approached by guys at least once in a long while. Also, the original poster apparently claims that she has been hit on by guys before. What I want to ask is to her though is how often?</p>
<p>I love the speculation on this thread! Is she so ugly that people can't help but stare? Is she so beautiful that no guy dares approach her? </p>
<p>I think it's somewhere in between and nothing weird about her situation.</p>
<p>How often she is hit on is probably a function of her social life. If she hangs out with a group of girls and goes shopping, to the movies, out to eat, etc. on weekends, she probably doesn't get hit as often as someone who goes clubbing/partying every weekend. </p>
<p>The main thing she needs to do is work on her flirting skills. I get tongue-tied when a hot guy hits on me, and this can be misconstrued as disinterest by the guy. Also, since she is a member of CC, she is probably smart and may have trouble not acting condescending unintentionally when guys do stupid/immature things to attract her attention.</p>
<p>Also, I used to wonder if people were staring at me or if it was all in my head. Then once during CHURCH, I kept getting the feeling that the substitute pastor was staring at me. I decided I had an overactive imagination. Then after the sermon, she (female pastor) came up to me and told me I had "the most interesting face". Weird, huh? I think most girls can at least tell when someone is staring at them, rather than just looking in their general direction.</p>
<p>LOL.</p>
<p>
[quote]
If you're a very attractive girl, you WILL be getting a ton of male attention, regardless of whether you never make any eye contact, spit on them during the conversation, or wear combat boots.
[/quote]
100% wrong.</p>
<p>All hot girls do not always get approached simply because guys are like - "check her out" and then they move on to the next 'checkable' girl. IF however some sort of circumstances forces a guy to talk to the girl or something similar (mutual friend or whatever), then pretty girls might get an edge over average looking girls. However, for the most part, a hot girl will be checked out and left alone. Approaching a girl or trying to make friends is no different than befriending a guy (ie. co-incidentally rather than by planning).</p>
<p>And another thing, if you are hot, and you spit on a guy who approaches you out of nowhere, the guy (unless a total loser as implied by Gracie's example) will go away and never look back at you. There are enough fish in the sea.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Now, without any more details, and not knowing what you look like, I have no clue why guys don't come up to you.
[/quote]
So stop posting massive posts with sweeping statements about how NO MATTER what happens guys WILL approach hot girls. It's just not true. All of your argument is based upon your assumption that gnrgurl is not pretty. Just try modifying your argument beforehand, just in case she posts a pic and turns out to be really hot.</p>
<p>You seem like a nice person so it's hard to understand what the problem is. Do you have some sort of reputation around school? Or do you just hang around places like libraries where nobody is going to pick you up? Do you stay in large groups where you are just a face in the crowd? That's really intimidating for a guy. Approaching a girl while she is surrounded by friends is horrible and while she may be forgiving about your awkwardness, the friends will have a good laugh later on. </p>
<p>And trust me, guys will take anything on two legs so don't listen to these retards. If you are a girl guys will hit on you, but you will have to make some sort of effort. Don't think you are some princess or something sitting on a high pedestal waiting for princes to do your homage. You need to step down a notch and be human. I think you give guys a stony face, and that really scares us because we fear rejection. Can't you girls make it easy on us?</p>
<p>If you see a guy you like smile, you smile. Keep sustained eye contact (THIS IS KEY). The guy will take it from there. That's all you have to do. I think it's easy.</p>
<p>The stupidity in this thread is simply breathtaking. I once visited a Neo-Nazi message board. I still can't decide where more people are clueless and out of touch with reality; there or here. </p>
<p>mercurysquad-</p>
<p>Maybe you've never been in any conventional social setting in your life, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how anyone can say that hot girls don't attract male attention with a straight face. </p>
<p>Again, does this make ANY reasonable sense? Because if this were the case, the only logical conclusion would be that ugly girls have more boyfriends and are far more popular among guys than good-looking girls. </p>
<p>I swear, this almost has to be a joke. No one can actually be this stupid.</p>
<p>GracieLegend stop posting on this thread if its so stupid. I don't get, you come here with no constructive criticism, you don't even answer the initial question that I presented, and you come out and attack me. </p>
<p>I never said I was stunning. I said I was attractive... there is a HUGE difference. You are downright condescending and I don't know why but you really sound so bitter. This thread isn't ALL about me... I asked what does a normal guy think when a pretty girl passes by him and he stares at her. I didn't specifically ask about myself until later.</p>
<p>You took everything I wrote and misconstrued it to serve your dumb point. I never said there was nothing wrong with me and I never said that the guys were insecure. If I said it, find it and quote me on it. Don't take my words out of context because in every single post you have written, you have done exactly that. You can do that in any other thread you want because guess what you sound very condescending in other threads as well. So it is just your need-to-be right personality. </p>
<p>Any by the way, there are a lot of pretty girls who don't have boyfriends. And it may be due to various reasons. What makes you think every pretty girl will want a boyfriend. I know every hot guy doesn't want a boyfriend.</p>
<p>Now everyone just please ignore all the silly arguments and lets just peacefully discuss my initial question, not me.</p>
<p>bongo23, for me specifically, I have trouble keeping eye contact and smiling at guys in general. When I get attention from guys, I laugh it off and act even silly because the attention makes me uncomfortable. That's my problem. When I see a good looking guy, it's ten times worse. I won't say anything, I won't smile, I'll probably just look straight ahead and pretend I didn't see him or ignore him. It's more of a defense mechanism. </p>
<p>I am very comfortable with my guy friends because I don't find them threatening, in the sense that they don't hit on me.</p>
<p>I didn't realize all this before but there were some people on this thread that helped me evaluate my physical gestures. I don't do it intentially, I just can't help it. I've done it for so long, so I am kind of used it. But since I have recognized it, I'll definately work on it. :)</p>
<p>In my other post I meant every hot guy doesn't have a girlfriend (not boyfriend :))</p>
<p>actually, gnrgurl...some of the guys indicated <em>they</em> are insecure, however that's beside the point.
Anyway, though, Mercury, attractice women DO receive more attention. As if we couldn't've figured this one out on our own, social psychologists have actually studied the formation of relationships and found physical attractiveness to be a major reason people are approached and liked--along with such factors as agreeability and positivity.
In addition, while these factors are fairly even for friendship, physical attractiveness tends to play a larger role in both sexes when it comes to intimate/sexual relationships.</p>
<p>Right apumic, other guys claimed that they didn't approach girls because of their own insecurities. I did not make that claim but GracieLegend does accuse me of doing so. God knows why.</p>
<p>gnrgurl, well then there's at least a good part of your problem. You're treating guys that hit on you as if they were a threat to you. As someone else said, work on the flirting business and maybe a little bit on the signals you're displaying to these guys. Body language is a major component of communication in person.</p>
<p>gnrgurl,</p>
<p>I would honestly suggest simply going to a trusted friend and asking them their honest opinion. A good friend can give you a lot--just realize that you asked them to be honest, so if they say words like "intense," "hard to approach," "quiet," "hard to get to know," "introverted," etc., realize they're actually doing you a HUGE favor that ONLY a true friend (or someone who hates you) would do for you! And if they do it in even a mildly tactful way, that's amazing! (For the reasons of tact and trust, be sure to ask someone who feels they can give you this information--a really close friend, your parents--YES! YOUR PARENTS!, a mentor, an older friend, even an older sibling)</p>
<p>Mike</p>
<p>^^^ actually, enemies are the best at this.... I've learned that the best critical advice I've received has been from people who wanted me dead! It's great!</p>
<p>haha...well... thats true in a since, however an enemy's way of putting your flaws could actually be counterproductive!</p>
<p>The reason for this is that whatever we believe about ourselves is what we tend to become AND what we believe about ourselves is shaped by 2 primary factors:
1) What we observe about ourselves (through our actions, self-talk, etc.), and
2) What others tell us about ourselves (through their words, actions toward us, treatment of us, nonverbal communication, etc.)</p>
<p>One positive experiment showing this was done with women who were told they were "generous" which resulted in them donating more money. Another was done with civil service.
One way this has been used and shown to work in learning is something called Strengths-based education, in which students' strengths are focused on. Basically, if your strengths can be focused on primarily, then those areas can compensate for our weaknesses, thereby facilitating our growth more effectively!</p>
<p>This is why I suggest finding someone who loves her, is not afraid to be honest when it is necessary, AND will know her well enough to wisely choose between the two!</p>
<p>
[quote]
The stupidity in this thread is simply breathtaking.
[/quote]
I would say the arrogance on this thread is simply breathtaking.
[quote]
Maybe you've never been in any conventional social setting in your life
[/quote]
No I have not, actually. Thanks for clarifying. I have only been in unconventional social settings all my life. I have never seen hots girls in malls.. I have just seen some female resemblance in shadow patterns on the moon and all of my arguments are based on that only.
[quote]
Again, does this make ANY reasonable sense? Because if this were the case, the only logical conclusion would be that ugly girls have more boyfriends
[/quote]
If I say that all tall guys don't play basketball, will you think I'm saying that all short guys do? Maybe you will.
[quote]
I'm having a hard time figuring out how anyone can say that hot girls don't attract male attention with a straight face.
[/quote]
Unfortunately, 90% of the time this "straight face male attention" is limited to following the hot girl with the eyes and then coming back to what you were doing. If you think that wherever a hot girl goes, she has guys coming up to her to say Hi like she is a magnet, where exactly do you live / who are your friends / how old are you etc. (share some more info with us so that we can diagnose the exact anomaly you are experiencing ;) ) .....</p>
<p>I didnt want to engage in a one-on-one argument but you forced me. Anyway. Peace bro.</p>