<p>I agree with theotherside and others about privacy. My S and I would not have had this conversation at dinner had it not been for this thread. I was quite surprised that he said he did not care one way or the other.
After reading on CC that the NM Corporation had sent out a letter to high scorers on the PSAT, I enquired whether he had gotten one. It turned out that he had, weeks earlier, and had carted it around unopened in his knapsack. He fished it out of his knapsack and opened it. It was the letter asking NMSFs to name their #1 choice. The deadline had passed.</p>
<p>Marite-
I'd call NM. I don't think they are that firm about the deadline-- it's usually so they can notify the school you list. You can even change your choice if you change your mind. Good luck-- and next time, scavenge through your son's bookbag :) only kidding.</p>
<p>jym:</p>
<p>Not to worry. I only gave this as an example that my S is the worst mail opener I know. In fact, none of the schools on his list give NM scholarships. He did not check the "okay to contact me" box on the PSAT test so he has not been inundated with college literature. He relies on me to toss out the few letters that do arrive unread. For some reason, he's received 3-4 letters from UT-Dallas. None from WUSL. He must be the exception to the CC norm in that regard.</p>
<p>I agree it is yours to open, unless you give someone else permission to do so. Just be gentle with your mom who is keyed up and probably praying 24/7 for your dream to come true!! (When else is a parent eagerly awaiting a $160K invoice in the mail?!)</p>
<p>I wouldn't mind my parents opening the letter. THey paid for it, and supported me all the way, so they have all the right to open it. Either way, I will know the decision, and I would like them to call me if I wasn't home to tell me the decision.</p>
<p>Neither did we. No MITm WUSTL< Brandeis, Caltech poster. Just all the NMF stuff. I am saving some schools, in case my S decides to transfer</p>
<p>My daughter insists that I open her Ed letter. She asked me to leave a message at her school if it was good news and to wait til she got home if it wasn't, but I pointed out why that wasn't such a good idea.</p>
<p>Marite--interesting. UT-Dallas was by far the record-holder for most letters to my S. WUSTL barely acknowledged him. (UTD looks more like a fancy resort, doesn't it?)</p>
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<blockquote> <p>None from WUSL>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>Marite, We can send you our mailings. They come very regularly. Since DD has been getting this info for almost 3 years, we have many duplicates.</p>
<p>Garland:</p>
<p>After my S said that he likes snow, I did not even bother to open the UTD letters!</p>
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<p>I then went into the next room and pulled out the school t-shirt, hat and car decal that I'd ordered for him from the college store (I was optimistic). </p>
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<p>cool idea ... I hope you don't mind if I steal it!</p>
<p>Though my son is perfectly fine with me opening his letters, I simply refuse. He should be the one to open them...at home.</p>
<p>One of his acceptance letters, more like a huge packet, had CONGRATULATIONS! on the outside, so it was no big surprise.</p>
<p>Thumper:</p>
<p>Please don't!!! I'm enjoying not having to deal with piles of college literature.</p>
<p>I agree with the masses here that the letter should be opened by the OP. And if she is 18 it is actually illegal for the parents to open it without her permission (an argument that didn't work on my parents when my grades arrived when I was away). Never mind the legality it is the student's and they should find out however they would like to.</p>
<p>wolfstarslasher: (interesting name by the way!) sounds like you've come up with a good compromise and that you are in tune with your mother's feelings about why she wants to be there (to lend support if it's bad news). Shows a lot about you and I commend you for that.</p>
<p>FWIW - it's the kid's mail, they open it unless they've agreed upon a different arrangement before hand.</p>
<p>My comment about tuition was said in jest...here and also to my son... there are times when it is evident he really doesn't think he needs us at all... and I can't resist reminding him that we actually are still important.... it wasn't an attempt to begin any dialog about "ability to pay"... sorry if that impression came across.. definite lurker who might be better off lurking!!</p>
<p>I really don't "get" the relevance of legalities and rights, etc. in all this. This is my kid and I'm his mom. It's between us and we like each other quite a lot. He wants to know. So do we. If he gets good news, he wants his dad and me to come and sign him out and take him to lunch to be happy together. It should be pretty clear from the envelope whether the news is LIKELY to be good, and we'll need to open it to confirm. </p>
<p>I can't see suggesting that our way is for anyone else or listening to anyone else's idea of how we should do it. This is a family matter, and everyone involved respects everyone else's needs. That seems to make all things work.</p>
<p>Before I sent out my applications last year, I made it very clear with my parents that I would prefer that they don't touch the mailbox from March 15th until I heard from everyone. The idea of not going to the mailbox during lunch break made my dad quite nervous! He did say something about letting me know at school about my college decisions.... He was very excited but somehow his "okay" didn't give me the confidence that he will keep the promise of not taking the mail in. But he came through at the end anyway. I was fortunate to be home for each one of my decision letters except for one.</p>
<p>Maybe you can specify certain dates for your mother not to touch the mailbox? Say... from Dec 16th-20th? It might increase suspense... but you can make it easier on her by asking her to come out with you to check the mail when you come from school? Then she will definitely look forward to having you home!</p>
<p>We have a simple policy when it comes to mail - It is opened by the person it is addressed to. Period.</p>
<p>tickle: unfortunately we do not have a box, our mail comes through a slot that leads directly into the house (you should see all the mail on the floor when we come back from vacations)!</p>
<p>But it's a nice idea.</p>