Relationship Issue with my gf

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years (all through college) she is a great person and my best freind now. The only issue is that over these last 4 years she has gained a lot of weight ( I would guess around 100 lbs). I know that since we graduated last May she is expecting an engagement ring. The issue is I don’t find her sexually attractive anymore. We have not been intimate in almost 2 years. She has brought this up recently saying its her fault because she is not comfortable in her body and has been hiding it from me. </p>

<p>I guess I am not sure what to do. Do I try to ger her help due to it can’t be healthy gaining so much weight. Do I propose because she is my best friend I love being with her, just not intimately.
Below is a link to some pictures of us over the last 4 years so you can see I am not exagerating.</p>

2

<p>I thought this was going to be one of those ■■■■■/hilarious things like the george foreman one, but I guess not. </p>

<p>Don’t marry her if you don’t find her attractive any more.</p>

3

<p>I’ll second that. I would not marry someone if I was not physically attracted to them (barring an exception like they got into some horrific car accident or the like).</p>

<p>If you haven’t been intimate in 2 years, that is not a good sign for a future marriage. </p>

<p>If you two are as close as you say you are, then I would approach the issue with her (although in a kind way). You two don’t have to break up, necessarily, but 100 pounds in 4 years is incredibly unhealthy (and doesn’t point to good things for the next 4 years).</p>

<p>(I also was thinking ‘■■■■■’! at first, thinking there was no way she could have gained 100 lbs in such a short period of time…)</p>

4

<p>Wow…yeah, if you aren’t attracted to her, don’t marry her. 100 pounds in 4 years is insane and as others said it doesn’t mean well for the future.</p>

5

<p>Erm- have you suggested she go to the doctor? Extreme weight gain like that isn’t really natural and there is a good chance that there is an underlying medical problem.</p>

<p>Btw- you really might not want to post those. It’s kind of an invasion of privacy to your girlfriend. I know I wouldn’t want my boy to be putting out pictures of me to prove how sexually unattractive I am.</p>

6

<p>***“No links allowed to private blogs, pictures, websites”</p>

<p>Anyway, just stay friends. Common sense. I think this is a ■■■■■ thread and I’m not clicking the link. That said, ■■■■■ posts are great</p>

7

<p>Oh god what happened she went from hot to a blob</p>

8

<p>Wow she went from hot to not in one go =/</p>

9

<p>Seriously though dude… people don’t gain 100 pounds in 4 years. has she said anything about why this happened?</p>

<p>You need to be honest with her and tell her that you can’t spend the rest of your life with someone that is uncomfortable with her body and you can’t even have sex/enjoyable sex. You need to get her help, and make her feel comfortable again. You don’t explicitly have to say she’s not attractive to you right away.</p>

<p>She was so friggin’ hot dude… I would have paid money to be you if you got to sex the before picture regularly</p>

10

<p>Why not try to help her lose weight? If she’s open to it, and you really love her, you should be willing to wait… Otherwise screw it. If she won’t lose the weight that bodes ill for your future together.</p>

11

<p>apparently the added 50 pounds was ok?</p>

12

<p>Tell her to get off her lazy ass and exercise because you don’t find her attractive. She can get back to a normal weight, she just has to put in a lot of work. If she’s not willing to put in that work to save your relationship then she’s not worth your time anyway. Also, make sure you’re in good shape yourself. </p>

<p>How do you stay with a girl without being intimate for 2 years anyway? That is absolutely insane.</p>

13

<p>Uh did you say 2 years? I hope that you’ve been cheating on her.</p>

14

<p>I think it’s all ■■■■■■■■, including many of the answers.</p>

<p>But here’s my answer–if you would really post pictures of her on this website, she needs a new boyfriend who has some common sense.</p>

15

<p>

</p>

<p>Not only that, but if you really loved her then her image would be the least important thing to you. She should lose the weight because it’s not healthy (which I realize you mentioned), not because that will restore your attraction to her. What you have now is not a relationship; you can not go two years without being intimate and still have a relationship. You aren’t sexually attracted to her because you’ve been in a relationship with her for four years instead of breaking up with her when the attraction started to fade. If you are not attracted to her anymore, break up with her. It’s been four years, that’s long enough.</p>

16

<p>I’d put the brakes on this relationship for a bit.</p>

<p>That doesn’t mean you have to break up, just slow it down…don’t propose to her.</p>

<p>These kinds of issues will only get magnified during marriage and get worse. This is a good example of the type of a problem that needs to be solved prior to getting married, not after.</p>

<p>Attraction is important in a marriage. If you’ve already gone two years without sex, things aren’t going to get any better.</p>

<p>If you want to make things work, just tell her that she needs to get better before you take that next step.</p>

17

<p>Slow it down? They haven’t been intimate in two years, how do ya slow it down anymore than that?</p>

18

<p>^ Slow it down…as in, don’t let the relationship progress, don’t get engaged.</p>

19

<p>That’s not slowing it down, that’s keeping it where it is at currently, if not digressing.</p>

<p>You’re 22, correct? Break up and find someone new. It’s not the end of the world. As I said before, what you have now is not a relationship.</p>

20

<p>How did you let your girlfriend gain 100 lbs without saying anything? I call ■■■■■, or fool.</p>