Think about everything in terms of: Am I comfortable with this place as my child’s home? Am I comfortable with these adults having a role in raising my child? Do I want my child growing up with these students as his peers?
Our school frowns upon outside tutors. Kids are supposed to go to teachers first, official peer tutors, or other faculty in the department. It is spelled out in the handbook.
Meanwhile, we hear from parents at other schools that they are budgeting additional $ for tutoring via Skype and FaceTime!
@vegas1 I was just going to make a related point - the conversations I had with other parents were very illuminating. At the revisits we attended, we ate lunch with other parents of admitted students. It was fascinating to talk through the decision with people largely in the same boat.
One of the questions we found useful was about the structure and content of the health classes, especially how sex ed was handled. There were some significant differences in answers - one dean told us, “We don’t believe the 9th graders are ready for that, so it’s not addressed in the curriculum until senior year,” which I found to be problematic, to say the least.
You may also want to ask about off-campus social opportunities- are students encouraged to stay on campus during the weekend? Does the school offer transportation or organized trips to movies, bowling, etc?
We also met with the school’s religious leader during revisits - as members of a very small religious community, we knew our son would need to travel to attend services, and wanted to make sure that was an option.
I made this point in another thread, but I think it bears repeating - if your child has specific interests, or is a member of a particular group, make sure you connect with similar students or with the dean/faculty who oversees their affinity group. The admitted/current student matches aren’t necessarily planned carefully, and - for example - for kids on full financial aid, or members of the queer community, or students of color, their school experience will likely be influenced - at least initially - by those aspects of their life. Conversations we had with a couple of those advisors really helped allay some concerns for us.
Is there any data or information available for individual schools about the number of students that do not return the next year (for whatever reason, chose to leave, kicked out, etc)? I would consider that (% of returning student body that does not return) to be a piece of useful information when assessing across schools. Does anybody have familiarity with looking into this?
Here’s a previous discussion of BS attrition:
Thank you all very much. I sincerely appreciate your help. Our child is fortunate to have three very different schools to choose from. Big or small, co-ed or not, city or rural? I can’t imagine making a decision like this when I was 14. While one school has stood out to my kiddo from the start, we can’t help but wonder if it’s too good to be true. Surely we aren’t the only ones to ever wonder if a school is really as great as it appears to be? The kids we encountered on campus during our interview/tour seemed happy to be there and we did have a good feeling about the school, but the ever-questioning side of me has to wonder how much of the atmosphere was manufactured for the visitors. I’m hoping revisits will clear up any doubts and make the decision for my kiddo easier. Your advice has certainly helped me. Thanks again!
@eoliphant, yes, we pretty much felt that way, and DS’s school has pretty much lived up to or exceeded our expectations. Good luck with your revisits!
Also: The “greatest” school might not be the one where your kid is likeky to be the happiest and has the greatest potential to thrive.
If your kid has deep expertise in one area (Science, music, sport, etc), they might want to surround themselves with equally advanced kids. Larger schools are more likely to have the critical mass necessary.
But if their desire to do something greatly exceeds their current experience or skill, it might be harder to break in and excel at a larger school full of specislists.
So much to consider!
Best of luck to everyone making a decision!
For our older girl, we did revisits to the two schools to which she was admitted. We found the revisits to be VERY helpful in making a selection. A school that had been my favorite and a front runner for our family for a long time was disappointing on revisit. I think I wrote about the revisits at the time.
It’s been a few years now, but I’m pretty sure I asked questions about attrition…like “When things don’t work out and a student leaves, what are some of the more common reasons?” I probably asked about D&A policies, too. I wanted to know how they helped kids who were struggling either academically or socially. When I had time/opportunity to ask current students questions directly, I asked why they chose the school and what schools they had to choose between.
I was definitely tuned in to the other parents on the visit. Because, IMO, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree…and if the parents were asking questions which indicated that they had VERY different priorities when it came to kids/education/etc…that was a red flag for me.
Going to the topic of matriculation. I am and always have been a believer that the most if not all of the kids who get into Ivies and the like would get in NO MATTER WHERE THEY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL. And has been mentioned upstream, you have no idea why School X sent XX kids to College X. You’re going to assume that it’s because they went to School X. But it may not be the only or even the most important factor.
I graduated from a non-HYP Ivy years ago, and in my line of work, that and a MetroCard will get you on the subway. My business partner graduated from BU. We make the same amount of money, and have the same challenges, rewards, and headaches from running the small business we started years ago.
Am I happy with my kids’ college admission/matric outcomes? Sure. 7D1 is a senior and 7D2 is a freshman in college now.
You can read about their experiences and outcomes (so far) on this thread: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1174214-one-family%C2%92s-bs-search-and-application-process-%C2%97-start-to-finish-p1.html
Also, don’t forget the thread pinned to the top of this forum that discusses some specific attrition stories:
Here’s that “2011 Revists Thread”…it’s closed, but there’s a good range of schools represented and some good back and forth among the various contributors.
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1112976-2011-revisits-p1.html
I will bring this up because of all the talk about college matriculation. Once our contracts came and we had to contemplate writing checks, my husband turned to me and asked: “What if after all of this, he doesn’t go to college?”.
I personally felt even more strongly about sending him to BS after that question as I felt it would be better LIFE preparation than our other options
.
Questions you might want to ask along these lines are:
“What do you hope to teach them beyond academics” (One school had an “adulting boot camp” for seniors where they learned things like changing a tire, doing taxes, cooking, etc. Another had opportunities to help run a farm to table snack bar. Others had opportunities to volunteer with local firefighters or work in a zoo. One had amazing semester-long travel opportunities). I don’t mean to look at these things as resume fillers and ECs. Look at them for the life value they will bring your kid.
“How often will my child meet with their advisor and what is the goal of your advisory program?”
“What off-campus experiential experiences are offered?”
Which school has the adulting boot camp? Love that idea!
How many questions is it reasonable to expect to ask at revisit day? Thanks to all my reading here I have a looong list and I imagine it will annoy the other parents if I monopolize everyone’s time and ask all my questions.
I would limit questions to one or two. Other parents are a great resource at revisit days. I am referring to both parents of current students as well as of accepted students.
P.S. I would not ask “What do you hope to teach them beyond academics ?” as this answer to this question is nearly the same for every school & can easily be found on any school’s website.
It was our experience that Revisit Days are really hectic! Especially at schools where all activities are on a single day. You are really moving at a fast pace and on a schedule! We would have liked to have met more parents of current students. We did attend panel sessions with faculty who had kids at the school. Schools have some type of parent network or parent association - you may have the chance to be connected via phone and email.
Be reassured that a lot of questions about the emotional transition to BS and supporting students will be covered more in depth at school drop-off time. At the schools we know, there are parent events for new families during orientation days.
To our surprise, we met and heard from several parents at Revisit panel discussions who were still undecided about whether or not to send their child to BS. It was Interesting, yet wondered why they took up limited time asking the panel about personal issues ( eg “ how do I know my son is ready for boarding school?”) that could have been asked of AO’s earlier in the process.
Other interesting observations included meeting many “repeats”. Some classes may be comprised of a significant percentage of repeats ( eg 25-30%). This has had more of an impact on the BS experience than we realized. We would have wanted to have asked about this. Also, should have asked about placement tests and drop-add for figuring out right course placement. For example: Just because your kid may place into Pre-Calc as a tested incoming 9th grader coming from a public middle school, doesn’t mean the student is ready for Pre-Calc at a highly competitive BS.
Do ask about advisors and how often they meet- and who they are!
We found it helpful to check out the campus scene after Revisit activities at the end of the day. We stayed on campus for an extra hour or two, going to watch team practices and spoke with kids in the student center.
Also- bring an extra pair of shoes or boots if you decide to check out practices or sports events - it’s muddy or slushy this time of year on those fields !
Another tip: check out Glassdoor reviews, if there are any. You want a school that treats its faculty and workers well.
@CaliMex It was Brewster that had the “adulting” class.
Love the idea that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, so look at other parents to get an idea of who your kids’ peers will be.
If you have a kid who is advanced in a particular area ( let’s say math or English) what are the options in Sophomore, Junior and Senior years. This can apply really in any subject. What you want, ideally, is the ability of your student to be able to do an independent study or a small class with other like peers. The reality of running out of math classes is real for kids who come in a few years ahead. The suggestions are not always solutions. Same for kids who come in level III in language or even level II. Got a kid who lives and breathes Shakespeare? What are the upper level courses?
Check upper level curriculum carefully they are not even close from school to school. Can the kid make their own class? How does that work?
If your kid has a thing make sure they can get the right help with it. For example, if your kid is a violinist, can they get the right type of teacher or is it very generalized? Same goes for art, drama etc.
Sports: If your kid is serious meeting with the coach is important. Do they see eye to eye with your kid and their view of the sport? Is the coach hyper competitive or all about helping the kid reach their goals. Meet the team. What’s the vibe? We got an excellent vibe from the coach at the school our kid decided to attend.
Matriculation is something some people consider to be important and others don’t. I’m in the semi important camp. I feel like this school is going to cost a lot and so I want to see college acceptances. In the end, it’s our child’s decision where to go to college but Ivys can be on the list. ( I disagree with some that it doesn’t matter as I have been in 3 industries where everyone was an Ivy grad. Good that’s changing but I’m not going to deny that many doors opened to me due to my alma mater). Our kid is likely to at least apply to some Ivies so that’s a factor. These days most LACS are hyper competitive as well so the list of what’s a good school is at least 50-75. For some it might be 10 for others top 200 or none at all. ( Yes, you don’t have to go Ivy or even good college to be successful. But it does matter in some fields. )
Repeats. I was shocked how many repeats there were. I personally had a bias thinking these kids were repeating for a reason. It’s a BS thing. It’s common even at the best schools. It can affect sports in particular. Or classes. My kid started a language (level 1) in a class of 7 ( the other students had all taken it before). Hey what can you do?
Listen to the AO. What do they consider to be important. Does the head of school interact with staff? Do they seem comfortable with each other or is he/she the dominant person? Is prestige something they are selling to you? Are they selling you the new sports building? Are they selling you the matriculation list? Are they genuinely nice?
Ask other parents about their kids. Do they seem impressive in the sense of being good kids and are they normal? Normal is rare. Are the kids curated? Have they done every extra curricular but seem to have a hard time saying hello? We looked really carefully at the kids and if they were socially nice. It varied. We talked to people and went with our gut.
@Happytimes2001 In what fields does your alma mater still matter after a few years out of school? Does it matter more than your performance at your last job?
In Silicon Valley it hardly matters (so many senior execs from San José State or Santa Clara University!) Most Fortune 500 CEOs didn’t attend Ivies or top schools, either, so it would be hypocritical for them to prefer Ivy hires?
Google used to only hire from top schools. But then they crunched the employee performance data and realized the factors that correlated with high performance had nothing to do with college attended.
I hear it still matters in academia… (with the focus on where you got your advanced degree)…
Apologies for the digression…