<p>My roomie has her bf to stay over two or three times a month. I give them time on their own and then he sleeps over in her bed whilst I'm in mine.</p>
<p>This worked fine for a while (i'm quite open minded) but a few things have happened and I'm now feeling less comforatble about it.</p>
<p>Should I raise my concerns with my roomie and how?</p>
<p>Ask them to stay in his room?</p>
<p>There is a point at which a thread is so obscure that it shouldn’t even exist.</p>
<p>This is a “choose your battles” issue. Make a list of what bothers you most. Address only your top concern. Living with another person in close quarters is never easy. They should respect you by not putting you out very often. They should try and work around your schedule. As for sleeping arrangements, it should be split between his room and your room.</p>
<p>Sorry MGSinc - didn’t want to be too explicit.</p>
<p>Things that I’m not comforatble with are noises coming from them during the night and him waiting until she has gone to the bathroom in the morning and then getting out of bed in his underwear and taking his time to dress. Some other things too.</p>
<p>You need to talk to your roommate alone about this. It would’ve been easier earlier, but do what you have to do now. Explain that them having sex (or whatever they’re doing) when you’re in the room is just not cool, even if they think you’re asleep. Maybe you could set up a schedule where she gets the room two nights a month or so and you sleep in a friend’s room?</p>
<p>You both share that space, that is where you are LIVING, and you have agreed to share that space with your room mate. I don’t know what you have agreed to so far as boyfriends go, but obviously you would need to keep your word for at least this semester/quarter unless you can both agree on a new arrangement. You have the right to be comfortable in the space you are paying to live in, so I suggest that starting with the next semester/quarter, you make a no sex rule for your room, and if your roomie can’t agree to that, find one who can.</p>
<p>Tell her what you’re uncomfortable with. Plain and simple.</p>
<p>If you’re uncomfortable with the boyfriend staying there, tell her that. It’s her room and your room, not his room.</p>
<p>You going to have to explain what uncomfortable things happened. Did you catch them holding hands or were they having a FDAU moment?</p>
<p>It’s your space as much as hers (it’s not his at all). The only question is…what do you want to happen? For him to never sleep over any more? For them to both restrain themselves in noises? For you to have priority in the bathroom? For him not to walk around naked? </p>
<p>Don’t just raise the concerns, you need to be clear on what you want and (since you were okay with it for a while) what or how often it is acceptable. Also what you are willing to negotiate or be flexible. Think it over, decide, then talk to them.</p>
<p>They should absolutely be willing to split time between his room and yours. No doubt.</p>
<p>Bring a boy over and do the same thing to show her how uncomfortable it is.</p>
<p>Sounds like someone is jealous.</p>
<p>I can tell you from experience that if you don’t voice your concerns with your roommate early on (even if they’re little), you will spend the rest of the year unhappy. Little concerns easily evolve into big problems over time, and you don’t want that.<br>
Talk to them. They might be more easily-approachable and willing to compromise than you think, just remember to not “demand”. I’m sure they will return the favor sometime.</p>
<p>You going to have to explain what uncomfortable things happened. Did you catch them holding hands or were they having a FDAU moment?</p>
<hr>
<p>I had to look that up. <em>cries</em> I saw so many things. YUCK.</p>
<p>^Haha. Gross</p>
<p>^^Then you understand the potential severity of the situation.</p>
<p>As I said. I don’t think they have sex when I am in bed, but there is certainly some heavy petting going on.</p>
<p>He doesn’t make any effort to hide himself.</p>
<p>I’m also not comforatble with him seeing me in my nightwear.</p>
<p>You’re clearly not comfortable with this.</p>
<p>Tell them (politely) that you aren’t comfortable with him sleeping in the room when you’re there (also trying to sleep). If they want to sleep in the same bed, they’ll have to find somewhere else.</p>
<p>If they decide to be dicks about it, go to your RA/whoever. Does your school have any rules regarding this?</p>