<p>The thing is, while oftentimes high school relationships are fleeting, i hear about so many other stupid reasons as to why people pick certain schools that this one actually seems like a half decent reason. Is picking a school because your boyfriend goes there any worse than picking a school because you like their football team? When finances come into it though I think people should be a lot more careful.</p>
<p>I think it’s misguided to say that if a relationship is truly worth it then of course it will work out over very long distances.</p>
<p>Is a marriage, for example, going to be happy when the two people hardly ever see each other/are separated by thousands of miles of distance?</p>
<p>With SKYPE, E-Mail, and free long distance, it is much easier to stay in touch than it was in my day. That said, in much of today’s world, we have more in common with our high school classmates with respect to values than we ever will with any group again. Unless one is HYP matierial and the other is 3rd tier in-state material, I wouldn’t worry a lot about them both going to the same school if they can study for the career choices they want.</p>
<p>I don’t really think so. The chances are it won’t last if you’re just out of high school. Sure sometimes it does, but it usually doesn’t. So I wouldn’t give up going to the school of my dreams just to be close to a guy. You can always find a new boyfriend.</p>
<p>"That said, in much of today’s world, we have more in common with our high school classmates with respect to values than we ever will with any group again. "</p>
<p>I don’t think that’s true. I think that because students have more choice in selecting their college than their high schools, and because college is such a transformative experience, students are likely to have much more in common with their college friends than their high school ones.</p>
<p>This certainly has been the case with everyone in my nuclear family.</p>
<p>I year ago my answer would have been different than today’s.</p>
<p>Son turned down UPenn (had been is first choice school) to attend Tufts (was a really good choice for him so in that sense all is good) to stay local. Girlfriend was still in high school and was hoping for BC business (she did go there). Six month after he graduates, she breaks up. Six and a half years they had been together. Four years in college and he hardly socialized out of respect for her. Oh well, he’s catching up now. :)</p>
<p>In contrast, hubby and I began dating when I was 14. We broke up twice and I went to Duke while he went to BC. We’ve been married almost 27 years.</p>
<p>I guess the moral of this story is that it really could go either way. Also, it’s worth deciding what is most important to you. For a lot of people, education is not the most important thing. I know so many girls who go to school just to get their “MRS. Degree.” My priorities are different. What makes you like one school more than another? A lot of people think that the best school for them is the one with very high name recognition and one that has good majors for them. I’m generalizing; a lot of thought goes into these choices, but I digress. In my evaluations of a particular college, I always ask myself if I’ll be happy there. I refuse to be miserable in the prime of my youth. The pursuit of happiness leads different people down different trails. I am learning to be more understanding of people’s motives, and I thought this thread would be a good place to think about that. Maybe following love is stupid and reckless, or maybe it’s a good choice. I’m enjoying learning from everyone.</p>
<p>Ultimately, and as painful as it is in the short term, you should always do what is best for fulfilling your future goals. If you cannot handle a long distance relationship, which i believe is one of the most testing situations a couple can be in, then it’s an indicator that you might not be the best match. Just look at army wives(and husbands 
)–I admire their strength and dedication to their relationships despite life driving the two partners in different directions.</p>
<p>S was very happy that he attended Tufts, which he did in part for the girl. He liked the proximity to family. Had he gone to UPenn and they broke up, that would have always been the cause. At least now there is no question. Academics? Yes, some was better at UPenn for his area of interest but he is needing to do his Masters now anyhow. My only regret is that the break up was after 6 1/2 years. Since it did end, I just wish it had ended sooner and allowed him other social options.</p>
<p>Word of advice from a parent: Yes, it’s a tough call – but from a past (bad) experience of my own when I was in college, (and witnessing numerous others in the same boat) I would opt for following one’s own dream (if that means going to different schools, then so be it) and see how things turn out in the end. Although the situation in this thread sounds irreversible in the short-term, maybe the advice of other posters will be taken under consideration by someone in the future.<br>
Unavoidable fact: if you find yourself in this situation, keep in mind that if one person in the relationship is especially clingy, jealous, needy, immature, etc, then there will be problems maintaining the relationship (long distance or otherwise). Both will end up miserable, and resenting the other for the circumstances in which find themselves. Grades could suffer, scholarships could be lost, parents could intervene – sometimes this stuff gets a little ugly. (as the poster who mentioned the stalker eluded) Unless each person is absolutely head over heels in love with each other, I would suggest trying to just maintain a good friendship for a while, and not limiting each other socially while at your respective schools. See if you can enjoy your college experience for a while flying solo. I know some will think this sounds unfeeling, but 18-19 yr. old college kids have a lot of time ahead of them for single-partner commitment.</p>
<p>if it helps anyone in this situation reading this at all, I just want to add that I’m in an LDR right now with me in the northeast and the bf in an equally prestigious school in the south and we’ve made it work so far for an academic year (we’re from the same hometown). If you’re the right people and can compromise, the option of going to different schools is absolutely doable. In fact, we’re both such busy people that I’m not sure we’d have enough time for each other at even the same school. But that is our sort of blessing in disguise. Anyways, the bottom line is that if you can handle being apart in college and can respect your partner following his/her goals, you will be able to survive the distance.</p>
<p>“The difference between staying home and traveling away to college is so HUGE that she has made a grave mistake.”</p>
<p>I think it’s impossible for any of us to be in a position to pass this kind of judgment on this girl. The fact of the matter is that her choice was probably misguided and ill conceived; at the same time, there are plenty of people who set their priorities in a different order then what the vast majority of CC would consider kosher. So, if someone wants to sacrifice a “better” education (it’s worth noting that the difference in education is probably simply a difference in prestige) for any number of things, I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t.</p>
<p>If two people really work at a relationship then it’s not hard to stay together. My neighbor is at Brown and his gf at American. They’ve been together for about 3 years now.
My health teacher once told us that she decided to go to Montclair just to be with her then bf. In the end though they broke up, he transferred, and she married and had kids with someone else. So it’s silly to throw away your hopes and dreams at a school for a guy.</p>
<p>Honestly, I don’t think that we have enough information to form any legitimate opinion of this girl’s choice. We don’t know where she would have gone, where she’s going, and what she plans to study. All of those factors are important in the decision she made.</p>
<p>I know Jane Pauley went to IU.</p>
<p>**GreedIsGood wrote:</p>
<p>^Whats better, Notre Dame or Indiana University? I heard that Indiana University was an excellent school. Didn’t the news anchor for NBC (John Chancellor, I believe) attend IU?**</p>
<p>The other thing to remember is - do you know for sure that your friend went to that school simply to be closer to her boyfriend. My fiance was my high school boyfriend and he went to Morehouse College; one year later, I decided to go to Spelman College (the women’s college across the street). Annoyingly, everyone assumed that I decided to go to Spelman in order to be closer to my high school boyfriend. Honestly, that was a plus, but it really was just the best college for me AND they gave me a full scholarship. But it was really frustrating to have people start to patronizingly tell me that I should pick a college for me and not him when they didn’t know the full story.</p>
<p>Speaking of which, 9 years later we’re still together. I wouldn’t look down on anyone who wants to attend the same college as their high school sweetheart. If they are really serious about making the relationship work, it could be a good choice.</p>
<p>Whether this was a good decision or not is hard to say with the info we have. If the close-to-home college is a good fit for her and proximity to the boyfriend was one of many plusses, then it could be a very good decision. If she turned down substantial merit money from a prestigious school to attend a lesser-known college at full price simply because she’d be near the boyfriend, then probably not.</p>
<p>If she is spending all of her free time in college with her boyfriend, not making other friends or exploring the various interesting new productive things that she can experience in college, then it may have been a mistake to go to the same college as her boyfriend.</p>
<p>I know how this situation goes. I moved away to college and my boyfriend came with me. We have been together since senior year and I am now a junior in college. He is just starting because he could not decide whether he wanted to attend college or not. </p>
<p>This kind of decision is a personal choice. Some people would rather have love and a relationship to grow with and still a decent college education, than a great college education and have the what-if factor of whether the relationship could have been more. </p>
<p>High school relationships can last and can be perfect. I am proof of that! I say, if she is happy, leave it at that.</p>
<p>"High school relationships can last and can be perfect. I am proof of that! I say, if she is happy, leave it at that. "</p>
<p>Let us know if you feel the same way in another 10 years. Every person I know who gave up their best college prospects to be near their high school sweetheart regretted it afterward.</p>
<p>My belief is that if a relationship truly is a good one, it will transcend the distance. If not, it’s not worth sacrificing one’s best educational prospects for it.</p>