Should a boyfriend effect your college choice?

<p>Sounds really wrong. No matter what, you have to take care of yourself meaning you do what you have to do. If it was really meant to be, he’ll wait for you or you’ll meet again later in life. Don’t let anyone limit you from being the best you can be.</p>

<p>Two of my best friends are married to their high school sweethearts.
In both cases, they went to separate colleges than the person they were dating. One couple was on opposite coasts and traded off visiting once a month and then seeing each other at home on holidays. This happened in the long ago era before cell phones and e-mail, and I think it would be easier to stay in touch today.</p>

<p>Even if they love eachother to death, it is essential one gets away from home and all the know, and experience the world. So yes, we can make a judgment that it was a bad decision. They can come crawling back to eachother after they graduate :)</p>

<p>The Mom in me wants to say this is wrong – but, I personally limited my college choices to within an hour drive of my boyfriend (and now husband of 19 years).</p>

<p>I also decided against law school to marry instead.</p>

<p>It was a lifestyle decision – I simply was happier to be closer to him and we made life choices to marry at a younger age. Financially, not the best move. But, the logic and emotional well-being are not always in-step.</p>

<p>I did not believe that we could be apart emotionally --He had family issues and I believed (right wrong or indifferent) that the stability of our relationship and my family created better dynamics. He limited me, sure, but I propelled him, so in the long run of “us” it even out :)</p>

<p>But, I really hope my kids do not have significant others when it comes time for college apps :)</p>

<p>I did not say she should give up her college dreams and education. That is not what I said at all. I said that I went to the college of MY choice and my boyfriend came with me. He did not want to attend college at that time. Now he does. </p>

<p>I moved away to experience college life. I just get to experience with the person I want to be with! So I will let you know in ten years. I think it might be different if she chose to do that with someone she just met. That we do not know. So no reason to place judgement on her or anyone. </p>

<p>It is a decision. Every situation is different, so it is not anyones place to judge. </p>

<p>I said that if she is happy, let her be happy. If it doesn’t work out then too bad. It still doesn’t make it a wrong decision or a right decision. Everything happens for a reason, and you are lead to choices. You will always have regrets, but oh well. THATS LIFE!</p>

<p>This really depends on what is right for them. My brother chose a “lesser” school to be with his then GF. He still went on to medical school. He graduated and is now in residency. And they are happily married with a house. So it worked out well for him.</p>

<p>I also don’t think he chose a school he hated and I personally believe a good college experience can happen at any number of schools and for me there was never a “dream school.”</p>

<p>My daughter and her boyfriend of 3+ years are about to enter into a long distance relationship. They will be at schools about 130 miles apart. Both of them decided to NOT try to influence the other as to their final school choice and they did apply to some of the same schools (state schools that everyone in their school apply to). In the end my daughter was offered a full ride at her prospective school and he was offered full tuition scholarship at his. Neither applied to the other ones future school and they didn’t choose to attend one they had both applied to because those schools weren’t real big on the list for either of them. </p>

<p>They actually didn’t discuss if they were going to try a LDR until after each had chosen a school, because they wanted to make sure the distance wasn’t going to be too far. Once they made their school decisions they decided to commit to a LDR. </p>

<p>Honestly, even though my daughter’s boyfriend is a great young man, I would like to see her date some other boys in college as this boyfriend is her first. Personally, I don’t have a lot of faith in long distance relationships and I am definitely NOT making wedding plans, but I have faith in my daughter’s decision skills and feel she will make the best choice for her, however the relationship goes. At least as long as the relationship continues my husband has a hiking buddy with the boyfriend. :)</p>

<p>this isn’t a clear YES or NO answer. Let the two figure it out, make their choices, and then live with it. nobody said becoming an adult was easy.</p>

<p>a B-I-G “NO”! Because . . . if you end up marrying him, you will be glad you had that time on your own to grow — and if you break up with him, you will be glad you didn’t waste your time on him.</p>

<p>NO. If the difference is negligible financially (same aid at both), then… maybe… but only if the academic programs are comparable.</p>

<p>If a relationship isn’t strong enough to last through college while apart, how could it sustain years of marriage?</p>

<p>It definitely depends on the circumstances, and we don’t know enough to judge accurately.</p>

<p>I do know that I wouldn’t make a college decision based on my boyfriend (indeed, he’s more than a little disappointed that I’m going to college in New England and he’s at a tech college in Indiana). On the other hand, his mother dropped out of college more than twenty years ago to marry his father, and they are the happiest, most compatible couple I have ever seen. It’s impossible to make a blanket judgment in light of the dichotomy of results.</p>

<p>I remain convinced that it can definitely be a factor in your college choice, and that’s perfectly fine. It shouldn’t, however, be the factor that makes or breaks your choice. Sure, it can add weight to one university over the other, but definitely shouldn’t be the defining factor. </p>

<p>Your college decision is something deeply personal, and no one else should be the reason you choose one school over the other.</p>

<p>But that’s just my opinion.</p>

<p>No!!!</p>

<p>A boyfriend should never ever stand between your life goals and decisions regardless of how long you have been togetrher. Also, the fact is that they may not even stay toegether and she will realize that she made the wrong decision and should have followed her dreams. This is the reason guys tick me off because he probably begged her to stay with him or something. I would die if I tried to do anythuing like that. Life choices are things you choose not your boyfriend, whether he influenced you or not.</p>

<p>My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and always knew I would be leaving for college (he’s always had trouble with school, he was held back a year in elementary school) someday but knowing that day has come is so strange. My choices came down to UCSB (an hour drive from our city) and UCSD (an almost 6 hour drive, 9+ hours by train). I’m going premed so UCSD was the obvious choice for that but it was really hard turning down UCSB, where my best friend is going along with some other good friends/acquaintances, for UCSD, where I literally know no one.</p>

<p>We’re planning on staying together but have promised ourselves that the second I find myself thinking, “Man, I really wish I didn’t have that anchor back home,” our relationship will be over and we can keep in contact as friends. I’m not letting my boyfriend get in the way of any fun I could be having in San Diego, but it is worth it to me to try to keep the relationship going!</p>

<p>I find it interesting that most of the “No, the boyfriend should have NOTHING to do with your choice!” voices seem to be students. The, “Well, it depends, maybe it should be <em>a</em> factor but not THE factor,” voices tend to be parents. Not sure why that is, you’d think it would be the other way around!</p>

<p>My choice between MIT and Stanford I think was 30% colored in hindsight by my HS gf, who I dated for 3 years in high school (she was going to BU). We actually did break up the first month of college (like so many of my HS friends - college is just very different, honestly), but I didn’t think it was that big of a difference for me - I think I would have gotten a good education either way and it wasn’t clear that I would necessarily choose Stanford outright either.</p>

<p>However, I would have never chosen a lower-tier school just for physical proximity. Like someone said earlier, relationships may not last, but your college degree will stay with you for the rest of your life.</p>

<p>In short, I believe it is not a good idea. High school students entering college are rarely mature enough to find “the one” at that age. Many things change in college that could cause a breakup.</p>

<p>I’m actually in this situation right now. However, I want to go up to a regular University in northern Cali, but my boyfriend wants to go to a firefighting school. Today I poured through [U.S&lt;/a&gt;. College Search | Search Colleges, Universities and Online Degrees](<a href=“http://www.uscollegesearch.org%5DU.S”>http://www.uscollegesearch.org) to find schools with a firefighting program. I found 2 in California. I then looked for schools closest to those two schools. The closest one was private, so that is out for money reasons. The other is UC Riverside. I won’t like the weather cuz I hate heat, but it would appear I may be transferring to a “better” school because of him. I would much rather be in Humboldt State University, but my boyfriend and I have tried long distance because of his job, and he ended up quitting because we couldn’t stand being so far away.</p>

<p>If a friend came to me with this, I’d slap her upside the head, but if she was sure then I would support her because I’m in the same situation. My parents don’t like it at all. But if my friend came to me for support I’d give it, even if it turned for the worse.</p>

<p>I heard of a girl who just finished freshman year in Stanford but quit school to be with her boyfriend in Emory a few years ago. Not sure if they actually got married, but I guess it’s really subjective. There’s no definite yes or no as to whether the decision is correct.</p>