shyness

[applefritter]

<p>reneelc1991, I totally identify with your post. I used to be outgoing around peers I was comfortable with but now I’m drifting away from everyone except one friend who doesn’t hang with me at school anyway because I can’t keep up with her social gymnastics. </p>

<p>Even if I’m not feeling shy, my mind is usually blank in social situations because listening is so instinctual. I try to think of something to say but nothing sparks. I suppose I’m too choosey about what’s worth saying, I find small talk boring so I project that others don’t want to hear it either. Sometimes I’m forced to go along with it for a few minutes but I wonder if the other person even finds it fulfilling?</p>

<p>People aren’t always talking about things that bore me but I usually find interesting people intimidating, as if there’s a higher standard to impress them and at this stage in my life I just don’t know how to muster up the confidence to crawl out of my restless comfort zone and it’s really deflating motivation levels. But I suppose I shouldn’t complain, it would be so much worse being shy before the internet.</p>

[chocobok]

<p>Wow, a lot of people on this thread sound exactly like me/ are describing exactly what I feel like. I too, am very shy and can relate to everybody on this thread. It’s strange, because I don’t know quite when it started-but in elementary school I was very talkative/outgoing. But in the last couple of years, people always tell me I’m to “quiet” and “shy”. I think I’ve become more shy as I got older because I’ve become more introverted as I matured (now I reflect a lot, think about things, spend a lot of time alone). </p>

<p>Also, I have grown to prefer this “quietness” and don’t really like talking to people as much. I don’t know what to say a lot of the time, and sometimes hold a sentence I thinking about saying in my head for minutes before actually saying it aloud.</p>

<p>I’m not good at talking to strangers. It’s just some skill I lack. If you were to put me in a room full of people that don’t know each other, I would probably be the last one to make friends (not because I’m weird or something, just because I’m not comfortable going up to strangers and engaging in conversation). I remember always being shy around adults, and in the last couple of years it has morphed to being shy around everyone I don’t know. </p>

<p>But when I am with close friends, I talk a lot. But sometimes I hardly utter a word if I am with people I don’t know/like. I’ve noticed particulary that I am quiet when I play sports- on my soccer teams I’m always known as the “nice, quiet girl who never talks”</p>

<p>Similarly, I never raise my hand in class, and hate being called upon. I used to get so nervous for speeches, (turn red, stutter) but now I am much, much better with public speaking (though I don’t enjoy it) and hardly get nervous. And I equally hate sharing my work-such as writing (which I love to do) with anyone. I delibarate for days on whether to show even my mom or sister a piece I have written. </p>

<p>I really don’t know what to do about this shyness. Being a “people” person is essential, and can help so much in life. I’ve noticed that it’s one of the most important things to have is charisma and stuff, but I simply don’t have it. I was thinking about maybe a business career earlier, but have realized that that is a career that is especially essential to connect with strangers (something I dread doing), so maybe it is something not best for me. </p>

<p>I’m worried how this shyness will translate when I go for interviews/ try to get recommendations. Perhaps I will always be like this, but I guess it’s a part of me. Not everybody can be outgoing.</p>

<p>Wow, what a long post…will stop now.</p>

[sb1492]

<p>I’m shy and am trying to overcome it now. This may sound crazy, but what I do is pretend like I’m someone else. I pretend I am someone is more confident, doesn’t give a *****, and is not afraid to speak her mind. It works. Sounds crazy, but it works so far.</p>

[Northstarmom]

<p>One can be introverted and quiet and still have good social skills.</p>

<p>Toastmasters can be a wonderful and supportive way to learn how to speak in public. Check its website.</p>

<p>Many college counseling centers have groups designed to teach shy students social skills.</p>

<p>Also books and articles can give good advice.</p>

<p>Shyness is something that one can get over with practice. This includes following advice from books and people who are more socially comfortable. When you make social mistakes, don’t be hard on yourself. Everybody forgets names, says the wrong thing at times, etc. </p>

<p>The important thing is to put yourself out there. You learn by doing.</p>

<p>Also, many people whom you’d never guess are shy really are shy. Lots of people successfully socially mingle by pretending to be a more outgoing person.</p>

[Invoyable]

<p>

Also, many people whom you’d never guess are shy really are shy. Lots of people successfully socially mingle by pretending to be a more outgoing person.

QFT…I’m one of them.</p>

[tomjonesistheman]

<p>roflmao this thread started like 4 years ago…wow</p>