The question was asked in my area, but they really wanted to know if you were applying to UF or FSU. All other schools were I the ‘other’ category. It’s acceptable to apply to UCF or South Florida or even one of the private schools in Florida, but the question ‘where is she applying’ is only asked to see which of the two schools she is picking.
I don’t think it is meant to judge, just to talk.
I encouraged my son to keep his stats to himself, as I did.
I have been sharing freely.
I ask that question all the time. I’m genuinely curious, not competitive (we’re done with the college admissions thing and have been humbled by it!), and might actually have useful suggestions to make if someone expresses interest in hearing them. And I really enjoy hearing about other people’s journeys.
To me it depends who you are talking to. With people I don’t know well, I tend to keep the information vague (“she’s still looking at different programs”) but with the couple of moms who I consider myself “in the trenches” with, we get pretty candid and specific as we’re trading information and trying to help each other through this whole ordeal.
GREAT advice. I tell my kids the same, pretend to be a modest hard working regular Joe who wants to study engineering or teaching at the local U.
If you live in a provincial place where most go to the open-door regional U’s, people are going to think you think you’re better than them if your child is targeting elite colleges, wonder how you’re affording it (“must be nice!”), all sorts of pettiness and jealousy. Even teachers who went to regional U’s aren’t going to be as cordial or open to your kid’s grade grubbing if they know your kid is targeting elite colleges.
I certainly agree with keeping test scores etc private (nobody’s business) but I think most people who ask what colleges you are looking at or what intended major is are just trying to make pleasant conversation.
Post #19 mentioned not sharing personal details in life (salary, how much you paid for house etc) and I totally get that- but I would say refusing to tell people colleges under consideration (again, assuming the conversation is based in pleasantries- not some one you know is trying to pry) is akin to refusing to tell people what town you live in
What benefit is there to lying about (or concealing) where a student is applying?
^ @Proudpatriot Not having to explain that you didn’t get into _____ comes to mind.
I wouldn’t lie. But as the poster in #19, I happily shared where my child chose to go once the decision was made (the town my kid will live in). 
I did’t need to share all the towns the child was considering and the specific houses the child was bidding on, to use the same analogy, while the process was in motion. Again, different folks have different comfort levels.
In our family’s case, both of my kids were looking at small LACs anyway. Great academic schools but not schools most know - at all. We are used to the blank looks on people’s faces. When what I will assume was a “well meaning” neighbor questioned why my child was going to the chosen LAC (a top ten school she had never heard of) after attending private school while her public school kid was going OOS to Penn State and she talked to and looked at me with sympathy, it confirmed my belief that not sharing during the process was better. Even more so when she found out my child’s leanings towards the arts and social sciences as opposed to her daughter’s interest in engineering. “Is your child going to be able to find a job with that?” Yup, not worth discussing. 
Why is it so bad to have to say something didn’t work? My D applied to a lot of reach schools - out of her final list of 12 she was accepted to 7 (including 3 with under 10% acceptance rates) and denied by 5 (including 3 with under 10% acceptance rates) People knew she was swinging for the fences- and she had the chops- but nobody is perfect
I didn’t mind when people asked me because, for the most part, I thought they were trying to make conversation. I think most people asking were going through many of the same things we were going through (college visits, financial aid questions, how many times to take the ACT/SAT, etc). There was one particular mom that I think is very competitive and was very tight-lipped with her.
I told others where my son was applying with the exception of one school - Cornell. It was absolutely my son’s dream school and he was very careful in the schools he chose to apply to. We did our research, knew the costs and definitely knew the odds. I just didn’t want to hear people tell me all the negative stuff about how hard it is to get into and how expensive. I just didn’t want to open that can of worms with people over and over and be in the position of having to defend the decision to go ahead and apply. I advised my son not to tell people he was applying to Cornell for the same reasons. It’s not that I cared whether or not anyone knew after the fact if he wasn’t admitted. I just didn’t want to deal with all the negative outside “noise” at the time when there’s enough stress going on.
Otherwise, I definitely didn’t mind talking about it or sharing what we were going through.
@OHMomof2-why is that such a big deal?
You use the word matriculate in everyday conversation?
Just sayin’, but there’s a difference between announcing stats and where one is applying (perhaps one of the least of which is that the former isn’t actually under discussion here, but the latter is).
I don’t know, I told anyone who asked where my kids applied.
But I can see how some people might not want to have a potentially awkward conversation, especially with people they don’t know well…
“Oh so is D headed to [very selective school you mentioned a few months ago]?”
“No, she didn’t get in.”
“Too bad, what are her plans then?”
“She is glad to be attending [second or third choice school]”.
Some people just don’t want to get into all that I guess.
So, for those of you who like to share the info, do you run down the whole laundry list?? All 8, 10, 12 or more schools? I’m just wondering how that even takes place. I think just saying, in my case, “he’s applying to a bunch of small liberal art schools and we’re still fine tuning the list” pretty much answers the question.
And, yes, there are some folks who will boldly ask straight out about SAT scores and such. / Should I ask them back how much their salary is these days?
We’ll be happy to tell the whole world where he applied - after deadline day. The advice I received has nothing to do with explaining why/why not he applied somewhere or why/why not he was accepted somewhere. Its about competition.
So many threads on this forum are dedicated to the extreme (and increasing) competition in the college application process. Telling others in YOUR high school where you are applying certainly won’t decrease your competition and it may very well increase your competition.
Two or three kids applying to a particular college from the same high school is a very different game than 10 or 15.
^ From smile & nod thread. This is why you avoid discussing top colleges, sometimes even after they’re accepted! Whether it’s jealousy, bitterness, or just close-minded provincial people living in their own little world…
Thanks @OldFashioned1… Exactly why I had not told her (or anybody else) that he was even applying to this school… nor did I even bring up the subject with her. She messaged me and asked me. It was after he was accepted AND we’ve paid the deposit. At this point, I answered honestly because it’s not a secret. I haven’t announced it to anyone and have only told people if they’ve asked me. I don’t know what her problem is, but she is the mom that I mentioned that is very competitive. I am avoiding her at ALL costs now!