<p>IF DUDEtte exists, and that is highly doubtful, AND she has a daughter (as opposed to being the daughter who is posting and trying to rally sympathy) I guarantee that this story, as written is not true.</p>
<p>IF the story has a basis in fact here is probably how the reality is: Kid is going to Europe. Knows that the return date should be X but either (a)the ticket is less as you get to September 1 and/or (b)having a wonderful time and doesn’t want to come home for grunt work. So, trapped in a lie, kid says I didn’t know. Horse poppy. Returns to campus without clearing the absence (that takes time and effort) and finds out that her sisters have been working 15 hours a day (they do) to prepare for recruitment.</p>
<p>Caught in yet another lie, this time with financial consequences, kid says, “Not only didn’t I know (sorry all summer long emails notwithstanding…outfits to order etc.) but they were mean to me!” No, if they exist, they’re tired and angry that your magnificent self didn’t write/call/excuse whatever to explain your absence. AND, to get mom and dad on your side…little darling was put in silence because her sisters were so MEAN!!!(said with a wail). Truth: she, if there is a she, knew the consequences (consequences do not mean the cellar, it means that you can’t have “fun” and talk to the pnms and/or you get to carry the water in) and the fines. She wasn’t allowed to rush pnms because she didn’t know the rotations, and everything else that she needed to do and know.</p>
<p>As for the pouring of the water? Sorry, I was one of the Moms who poured the water, polished the tabletops inbetween parties, vacuumed the rugs (yes, we ran as an army to fix a house in 10 minutes). </p>
<p>If this is the “mom” writing the story…I’ll quote Judge Judy here, “You know when you teenager is lying. Their lips are moving.” If this is a kid trying to get sympathy…nope…too much that can’t be true. AND if there is a kid out there who is being hazed the OP is belittling their truth by this garbage.</p>
<p>Well, here is the thing. Go to Google and look up “college forum” and see what’s the first site to pop up.</p>
<p>Yeah . . . it’s this one.</p>
<p>So “first post” is not necessarily indicative of a ■■■■■, but of someone who ran into college-related trouble for the first time and used Google.</p>
<p>^^^Well, that’s the tricky thing about message boards. Not all posters with low post counts are ■■■■■■. But almost all ■■■■■■ have low post counts. They strike with a controversial subject, let the members argue, and sit back and enjoy the show.</p>
<p>Naturally: Absolutely that experiement is as written: but this has nothing to do with that. This is about someone who writes or reiterates fiction (bad and obvious) to either save themselves or get a giggle.</p>
<p>Sometimes there is an experiment…sometimes the story is an alibi or fiction.</p>
<p>I think some parents on this forum worried about anti-sorority sentiment might want to stop posting. </p>
<p>The original post didn’t make me feel ‘anti-sorority’. It just made me think “wow, what a terrible sorority”. </p>
<p>But the defensiveness…what “must have happened” since this can not possibly be true of any sorority… makes me shake my head. Especially when such posts seem more concerned about the ‘obvious storying making’ by the D, than by the potential abuse here. And no, even the lighter spin on what kind of behavioral control was going on here in the sorority would not be acceptable. Maybe not hazing or abuse, but who would actually want to belong to such a group? But let’s just hope this is a ■■■■■ story and these aren’t not girls planning to be in charge of anyone in the real world when they graduate.</p>
<p>No, sorry starbright. It was THIS story and THIS poster that isn’t ok. The OP has not returned to comment/add or subtract/answer questions about her post. So, I would put it in trolldom on that. If you are referring to my concerns, please read what I wrote, not what you want it to say. In essence: I don’t want a liar making up stories that would diminish someone else’s truth and experiences. Read: the crying wolf comment.</p>
<p>This isn’t about pro or anti sorority, it is about lying: being it the OP, her daughter, or both about the circumstances.</p>
<p>Honestly, I fully get making the sisters and the participating alums commit to being there at certain times, and what their responsibilities / duties are, but “rules” (beyond commonsense ones, or those required by the local Panhel about interaction with rushee) just seem so over the top to me. </p>
<p>Ellebud, the young lady of our mutual acquaintance is really enjoying her sorority at USC but her mother’s description of it (they are out there right now for the Presents thing) seems so worlds apart from my own experience!</p>
<p>I’m also a little perplexed by “not knowing rotations.” It’s really more complicated than just making sure that you / your small group meet X number of girls at each party? It’s not a football play that needs to be diagrammed and memorized here!</p>
<p>If someone were forced to go sit alone in a corner of the basement as punishment, that would be hazing.</p>
<p>If my daughter were a member of a sorority and were being hazed, I would encourage her to report this to the school’s Panhellenic Council plus the Dean of Students. (If a school’s sorority members felt free to behave like this toward one of their own members, I would think the school’s Panhellenic Council was either not speaking out against hazing or was routinely ignored by the sororities .)</p>
<p>I would feel it was irrelevant whether the punishment was “her fault” or “deserved” or not. Why debate on whether the sorority member heard about when sorority members were supposed to be on campus before or after she bought her plane ticket back to the U.S. for fall classes? No one deserves this sort of shunning.</p>
<p>That’s my two cents worth.</p>
<p>I agree that the original post sounds far fetched, but there are some “Mean Girls” at college - for example, freshman Molly Wei’s role in the Tyler Clementi webcast at Rutgers last week. I hope there is not really a whole sorority full of “Mean Girls” out there.</p>
<p>But, please read the rest of my post Mantori. </p>
<p>What I said was that there are generally parents involved in the recruitment phase, which is why nothing like that would have happened.</p>
<p>I also said that when they did “lord of the flies” type stuff was when alumna and parents were not involved. I don’t know what you consider lord of the flies type stuff? But, I’ve read the book. </p>
<p>This may be an overly dramatic way of describing the fact that in some houses with a competitive rush, an active who doesn’t show up for prep week is not allowed to participate in rush week in a public role. In my house, girls who missed the prep week were given behind the scenes roles instead. There is too much work to do for anyone to be just sitting. However, each day of rush has specific preparation involved and someone who skipped it would actually miss something. She’s probably not really being “shunned”, but people are mad at her for being a flake, and she’s complaining to her mom.</p>
<p>Ellebud, it isn’t just your post I’m responding to. But I did now read it several times, and you seem just a bit too angry and way over nasty in your all knowing judgment of this hypothetical D. How many years ago since you left your sorority? </p>
<p>Your frustration with a ■■■■■ makes sense (I can’t stand them either). But your anger seems to stem mostly from the potential that this is a true story (and therefore, the audacity of a sorority girl who would spin truths to make her sorority look bad, when clearly they could not be responsible for what transpired!). </p>
<p>Who the hell knows what happened? Methinks if this is still hitting a nerve for you, and it is indeed a norm for 200 girls to put in 15 hours days for a week for recruitment before school starts, and slackers get fines and prohibited from ‘fun’…there is something pretty seriously wrong. And it ain’t some slacker girl.</p>
<p>Yes. The fines are true. The chores are true. But, girls who live in a house do chores all year round. There’s no cleaning staff like they have in the dorms. They all do chores all year. Big whoop.</p>
<p>The sitting in a chair in the basement is not true. IMHO.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl: I have a friend who went through recruitment at the university that you attended. It is continents apart from what you experienced. I can only say that rotations are complicated and that, from MY day (and its way more difficult now), the tagging and the movement are a ballet. In addition there were “help” signals and LOTS of other stuff. It takes days to learn. And I’m not including door chants, good bye songs, and skits. And while everyone isn’t in the skit, EVERYONE does door chants that require 140 to perform to simultanous perfection.</p>
<p>And if this were a true story, I would be the first to say (as I did very early on in this thread) go to Panhellenic to report abuse and/or hazing. It is in no way acceptable. But I AM saying is that when stories are made up real stories are dismissed as fantasies or lying it gives true stories and true victims less credibility. And there have been tragedies on campuses across the United States that have been directly contributed to NPC, NPHC, and IFCs. Had proper authorites been notified (because hazing seems to passed down…so to speak) deaths might have been avoided.</p>
<p>I was chapter advisor for my sorority for several years, and there is absolutely no way that this is acceptable behavior. If the young women in my chapter had done something like this, those responsible would have been removed from leadership positions. There would have been apologies, and there would have been a lot of training sessions to make sure the sisters understood the reason this behavior was out of line. However, I can also say that I would be shocked if the young ladies in my chapter would have done something like this - and if some had, I think there would have been sisters who would stand up against them - or at the very least, they would have contacted me for help.</p>
<p>The purpose of a sorority is promoting sisterhood. Punishment by ostracizing and humiliating is not consistent with the purpose. Every sorority should have a network of adult advisors with whom they feel comfortable enough to confide.</p>
<p>By the way, I also smell a ■■■■■ … but in case the OP is for real, I suggest OP’s D take a leave of absence from this toxic group of mean girls.</p>
<p>I’ve worked rush as an alum. It’s little changed from my day with the exception of technology to assemble and process data. Standing at doorways and singing cute little spirit songs doesn’t require rehearsal or perfection.</p>
<p>I can easily believe that this happened as reported by the OP–read the link to Cornell’s examples of hazing that was posted earlier to see a whole almost-incredible list of things college students have attempted to force others to do (some in Greek organizations, some in non-Greek organizations). </p>
<p>That list makes me wonder what good could have been done in the world if the students involved had only used their imaginations to solve problems, rather than to create them.</p>
<p>Or a few west coast schools and perhaps (but I’m not certain about) some midwest schools.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl: You should ask our mutual acquaintance about her recruitment. You’ll be floored (as was my friend who went to your alma mater). I hope that all enjoyed Presents.</p>