Students from North - Comfortable at Southern Schools?

College Search & Selection
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@BatesParents2019 - not Manhattan - Rochester (yeah, really cold!). I’ve never heard her use Sugar, but she’ll use “hun” if she’s really ticked off - as in “Hun, you’d better drop that attitude right now!” I think she gets teased lightly about her accent, but not in a mean way.

I guess my advice to a Northerner coming to school in the South is to not look impatient (even if you are), don’t be too abrupt or aggressive in your speech (it’s seen as condescending), and don’t take it personally if someone says “ma’am”, “sugar”, “honey” (in a non lecherous way), or asks where you go to church (I’d be surprised if you heard that as a college kid though, outside of a school like Liberty). My parents called me “sugar” - obviously a term of endearment!

62

My son, a liberal, half-Jewish, Unitarian Universalist kid from the DC area is going to visit the University of Mississippi next week. I’ll try to come back to this thread and let you know what he thinks. His background is mixed. I grew up in East Tennessee and moved to New York in my late twenties. I met my my wife there, and the high cost of living made us move to the DC area when S16 was a baby. My wife grew up in Maryland, but went to Florida State. It seems to me that it’s more important for some people to live where the majority of people are like minded. I grew up liberal in a conservative part of the country and decided to move. If I’d been living in a college town it might have been different. The big problem for me was that I had a very hard time dating where I grew up, and had no such problem in NY. My take is that it depends on the individual. A lot of kids can find their niche at any decent sized university.

63

I made a major faux pas when I called my boss who was from the South and living in the South on a Sunday and his wife picked up the phone. I then realized they must just came back from church. Oy!
Luckily he didn’t give me the cold shoulders.

64

I know quite a few liberal kids who have gone to school in the south (U of SC, U of VA, William and Mary, etc.) One had a hard time finding his people at Washington and Lee and is now settled in, but beside that, all has gone well. That said, I have known Southerners who moved North and hated it (not just because of the weather.) They felt they didn’t fit in. Californians are sometimes unhappy moving East, and Easterners are sometimes unhappy moving to the Midwest. I agree with others who say it probably depends a lot on the school itself. That would be true in the North as well. If she is interested in Greek life, I have heard the sororities in the South operate a little differently, but I don’t know what that means. Maybe some are harder to get into?

I do recall a thread a while back in which a Southerner asked about Northern schools, but I agree, it is rare for that question to show up. I can certainly understand why Southerners would be put off by this question, which comes up often. I have seen folks pile on that Northerners are cold and unfriendly, and no one seems to object to that stereotype. I live in a very friendly and welcoming community in the North, so I always bristle at this comment.

65

I am interested in going to a south school. I live on Long Island and the high school I go to is highly diverse and it has a mix of every type of kid besides preppy. Race is not a problem at all. Rap music is the music the majority of people listen to and is my favorite genre. The community I live in is small and every one knows each other and is friendly with each other. Are the schools diverse and connected in the south like my high school is?

66

Tulane and UNC are not so southern-y and transplants seem to be accepted and fit in. What I have heard from student transplants (kids I personally know) is there’s still a south vs yank thing going on in places, so it’s hard sometimes to fit in. A friend’s son went to u of Virginia and dropped out after freshman year due to an undercurrent of what he felt were kind of inappropriate comments in general, across several platforms, race included. Some of those recent frat hazing comments/songs recently in the media come to mind.

67

In [another thread](Is a college's racial/ethnic composition an unstated overriding factor for many people? - #18 by Hanna - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums), @Hanna mentioned that, for most white students shopping for colleges, the student population being not majority white was a deal breaker. If that is true, then it is likely that many white parents choosing high schools for their kids would find a high school that is less than 30% white to be undesirable, though they may not state that racial/ethnic composition of the school is the reason for its undesirability for them.

68

dlcohen, with your D being an A student, there are several options for southern schools. I also think the concern from people who have not lived in the south may be exaggerated in some cases. There are some are cultural differences, not necessarily negative ones, but tolerance goes both ways and it seems that your D is comfortable with differences.

You are already looking at Elon, and C of C- Davidson, UNC, Duke, Vanderbilt, Sewanee , Furman, Wake Forest, Emory are also schools that may fit your D well.

The Jewish population varies at these colleges, but all would be accepting of students with your child’s background from what I have heard.

One aspect to consider when looking at Jewish life on campus is that I know of a few students who have wished to explore the Jewish side of their family in college, even if they were raised in another religion. One has gone back and forth between the two religions, one remains Christian, and one is leaning towards Judaism. However, for the curious student to explore, there should be some Jewish life on campus to do this. Jewish communities in the south tend to be small, with intermarried families, and so I would expect that she would find similar peers.

If a student has a religion of interest- or more than one- I think it is a good idea to include visits to the groups on campus along with the campus visit to see how they feel there, and if that is a good fit too.

69

Ferguson, Baltimore & Staten Island are not in the South.

Northerners pat themselves on the back for not being racist, but they go racially segregated schools

http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/education/new-york-city-schools-f-racial-segregation-diversrity-report-article-1.1736279

70

I didn’t mention Emory earlier since the OP said they were interested in VA, NC and SC. Emory is moderate politically, has a large Jewish student population and is quite diverse; Greek life is 30-35 percent. My D says her Emory classmates are nerdy rather than preppy. I don’t know about crew though. Atlanta also has many cheap, nonstop flights back to the NE.

71

^This is bc NYC schools can’t figure out how to provide a decent education even though their funding exceeds that of most suburban schools. The folks who can leave, do. Call it white flight. If the schools were decent, people would stay. For instance, ifkids get into the prestgious public high schools, they stay.

At the same time, in suburban “cities” around it (ie, not villages or towns, but cities), you have the same thing, BUT, some of those schools are highly rated magnets.

WRT North South, the bias goes both ways. I can’t tell you how many people back home (midwest) thought I would get mugged on my stoop on the upper east side (rural/uban). Or northerners are so rude…(tip, they will help if you ask, but otherwise mind their own business!

I think people confuse rural for southern. NYS has rural backwater too!

72

I made recommendations outside VA, NC, SC too because I felt that some choices- such as Emory and Sewanee, are worth looking into. I agree that the Atlanta airport is a major hub, making flights convenient. In VA, I think Washington and Lee is making attempts to diversify and has a Hillel. There is also UVA, William and Mary, University of Richmond. I don’t know much about rowing and that is something to look into.

73

“Are the schools diverse and connected in the south like my high school is?”

From your description of your high school, it’s a pretty rare scenario nationally, and there aren’t many schools anywhere that can match it.

74

Allow me to throw in my two cents worth.

First, I would have your daughter consider Tulane. Most of the students there are not from Louisiana, but are from New York, California, and Florida; and, for what it’s worth, the student body is about 30-35% Jewish. Also, having lived in New Orleans myself, I would say that the part of town that Tulane is in (“Uptown”) is not a high-crime part of NOLA (of course, there is going to be crime everywhere); and I think that the campus does a good job with security. If you just use common sense, your daughter shouldn’t have any problems. And if your daughter has high test scores and GPA, Tulane can be generous with merit aid. Generally, you may want to look at some of the threads on the Tulane forum.

Second, several of the schools in the South that have been mentioned by posters here have a relatively large percentage of people from north of the Mason-Dixon line: Duke, UNC, Emory, and University of Richmond come readily to mind. (When I visited the University of Richmond last year, the admissions officer giving our tour pointed out that 18% of the undergraduates at Richmond were from Virginia, and that most of the undergraduates there hailed from Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Connecticut – so a good mixture of North and South.) You might also look at Vanderbilt; it is making a real effort to admit even more kids from outside Tennessee than it usually does, in order to be perceived as more of a “national” university, a la Duke. Additionally, Rice might fit your bill; it has a very diverse student population as well even though it is located in Texas.

Third, the College of Charleston is about 2/3 female, which would make me concerned about distorted social dynamics because of the male/female imbalance. Also, the president of College of Charleston is a political appointee, as well as a Confederate civil war re-enactor – I’m not sure how well that’s going over these days.

Fourth, the matter of rowing – I think that some of the larger schools probably have varsity female rowing teams (a look at their athletics websites should tell you that). If your daughter attends Emory and wants to row, but is not varsity material, then Atlanta has a pretty good community rowing program through the Atlanta Rowing Club; the ARC co-sponsors the Head of the Hooch (Chattahoochee) regatta every fall, although the actual race venue has been moved to Chattanooga because it outgrew the facilities in Atlanta.

I sum, I think that there are a good number of places where your daughter can attend college in the South, and not feel out of place.

75

If you are considering diversity, then geographic diversity is something to consider. A state university is likely to reflect the population of the state, since they admit mostly in state students. There may or may not be a wider range of economic diversity at a state college, since in state tuition can cost less for students unless they receive merit or need based aid -which in some cases makes a private college more affordable for some students. A private college that accepts students from out of state may be more geographically diverse.

76

One consideration is that many colleges considered to be progressive have significant anti Israel activity, and this has led to some students feeling marginalized. On some campuses, swastikas have appeared on the buildings of Jewish organization. This is not necessarily the fault of the college, or the feelings of the entire student body, but depending on your D’s side of this debate, may be something to consider.

IMHO, some of the southern colleges may have a larger proportion of the population leaning to the right politically, but in general, universities are progressive and so, these colleges may have a mix of students that is more varied than colleges that are more uniformly progressive. While anti Israel sentiment may exist on these campuses, there is generally less of this.

This post is not meant to instigate a debate on this heated policy, but to reflect my feelings as a parent of Jewish students on campuses, and reading about these incidences. They make me uncomfortable, but others may be fine with it.

77

@Pennylane2011 So true, while schools thought to be conservative and dogmatic are begging Jewish students to attend. They don’t tolerate antisemitism of any kind and are probably the safest for Jewish students to attend.

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Re: #75

Israeli - Palestinian politics on college campuses can get pretty heated… and when it does, the loudest voices (on all sides) tend to be the most racist, driving out any voices of reason.

79

Northern transplant to the south here - Originally from PA, spent 12 years in Atlanta and now going on 14 in Houston TX. I’ve also experienced sending a southern-raised D north to Boston for school.

I am sure a college age kid should have no trouble finding her people on a bigger campus in the South.
In general, urban and suburban areas, and areas around universities, are going to be more progressive than the rural areas, just like in the north. We found Atlanta (at least in the '90’s) to be less integrated by neighborhood than Houston is. Houston is a very diverse, and international city. I agree with @Catmatmc that by far the most difficult adjustment may be the general religiosity of the majority of the population. “What church do you attend?” is a frequent (and friendly) inquiry. It caused some angst during the junior high years for our non-churchgoing kids, but they all learned to manage the questions by HS. Our Boston-based D is relieved that religion is just not even a topic amongst her Boston friends. However, she finds the Boston bunch MORE narrow minded than her religious Texan friends in other ways. She and I both think that experiencing both areas of the country has been a positive for her personally. In today’s world, adaptability is a life skill!

80

Thanks @laralei. I don’t think anyone was trying to insult PA specifically but more making the point that there are pockets of intolerance and insensitivity everywhere. I am also concerned about the Greek system, which my daughter is interested in, but in the end she will have to decide if participating in one matches her values. I’m sure there are some great sororities and fraternities out there.