My son is active in church, although not a denomination that’s numerous in the south. There is a congregation in Oxford, though. I think he could care less about Greeks. As long as he finds his people he’s not influenced by what others do.
@Hoggirl I think what I’m trying to get to are cultural differences by region that may be good for my D to have an awareness of. After reading so many of the thoughtful (and not so thoughtful) responses to this thread it’s clear that cultural differences exist for EVERY region in the country and that someone from the South could easily feel uncomfortable in the North, someone from the West Coast could be uncomfortable on the East Coast, etc. Actually I think it’s a good discussion to have in this country - trying to understand other peoples unconscious biases and raising awareness around them can only be a good thing.
@mstomper thanks for your input. I do think in the end finding a school for her with a diverse population is the key - I don’t want her to go to a school where everyone is like her (she doesn’t go to a high school like that) but I want her to a) be able to find enough people like her so that she doesn’t feel too different and b) also be able to meet people from different regions and backgrounds so that she can get to know them better and hopefully work to break down stereotypes. Let me know how the UMiss visit goes!
Thank you @Pennylane2011 for all of your insight! My D is not heavily involved in any type of Jewish organization but she would be sensitive to and disagree with anti-Israel activity. In the end, if college ends up being a microcosm of the “real world” where she will encounter all kinds of people I guess that is a good thing. I just want her to have a good time and feel comfortable, and not like a fish out of water, so diversity will be the key.
Thank you @gandalf78 for your insight and input! The more I read and think about this the more I come to realize that diversity wherever she goes is the key - I wouldn’t want her to go someplace where everyone is the same. Her high school has a lot of diversity - racial, religious and economic - so although the students are from the same region they come from very different backgrounds. I think her college experience should be a continuation of that. Also great info about ARC! I will take a second look at Tulane, although distance is a factor there too. I struggle with having her go so far when up and down the East Coast we have such a great variety of schools that are easier to get to travel wise!
@HRSMom Reading all of these responses I realize there are cultural differences related to every region that may have some truth to them but are also unfair to generalize about. Some are offended that I asked about North vs South, but that is because my D wants to go South. I would likely want to know about cultural differences if she went to NY, or to CA, or anyplace else in the country. thanks for your input!
@dlccohen I could answer your questions about New York, but since it is a huge state it has different regions too which have their different cultural differences. Im from long island, but I know all the different cultural differences in each region. The regions in NY are Long island, the city, Westchester, and upstate (where most of the colleges are) What region in NY would you like to know about.
@VMT I think it comes down to the fact that there are differences across all regions of the country. The important thing for me to try to understand is a) what are the differences and b) how extreme they have felt to others children if they went someplace new? If we lived in the South and my D wanted to go to school in the North, I would likely be wanting to understand why some Southern students had bad experiences in the North. Anyway - I think for my D the key wherever she goes is to have diversity and a good representation of people from different places which will allow her to find like minded people but also to learn more about others.
@lindyk8 I do think the South v North thing does exist still. We visited Charleston in April (which I loved) but did find it strange that tour guides and such would bring up little comments about the War of Northern Aggression and refer to slavery as The Great Unpleasantness. I also saw a number of Confederate flags. It all struck me as odd because we don’t talk about that in the North anymore (from what I can tell) yet it still remains a topic in the South. Maybe they thought it was funny and they were being lighthearted but it rubbed me the wrong way. A plantation we went to also hosts a Civil War reeenactment annually where the South always wins. Curious.
http://sourcefed.com/pro-confederate-flag-rallies-continue-across-the-south/ You won’t see this at southern universities but unfortunately this is happening as we speak. However, Ive seen northerners defending the flag to on social media
@beyondtx thanks for your input! This thread has been helpful to me in the sense that it has reinforced the fact that I want my D to go to a school where there is diversity by race, region, religion, etc so that she can feel comfortable being herself but also get to know others and appreciate their differences.
@2016senior thanks for your offer to discuss NY! I think the only NY school on our list currently is Marist, but we are early in the process.
@dlcohen We took a tour of Charleston a number of years ago and the guide took us to the place where the slaves were auctioned. I kid you not.
This is such an interesting discussion to me. We live in the South, but my in-laws are from New England and chose to retire here. I’ve personally lived in NYC and California. Geographical location of a college is a non-issue for us. It never occurred to me to worry about culture differences etc. I think that college is a wonderful time to experience different cultures (both domestic and international), points of view, religions, cuisines, languages etc etc. I traveled all over the world as a child/teen and learned so much that I would have never learned in a classroom. People really aren’t all that different, every place has its ignorant jerks and every place has wonderful people who would give their right arm to help you out.
@GMTplus7 what this thread has reminded me is that intolerance and ignorance is everywhere - North, South, East West. So in the end it will be important for my D to attend some place that has some diversity (racial, religious, etc.) where she can find her own group but also get to know and appreciate others differences. If she sees or hears something she doesn’t like she will have to speak out - just like in “real life”. I think the trouble in “real life” is that people locate themselves away from people that are different from them so after school they no longer have to deal with differences.
Can we have a shift to the differences in food choices in each region.
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think people confuse rural for southern. NYS has rural backwater too!
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I think this is very true, because that’s what’s largely portrayed as being “the south” in movies and on TV.
That said, I still find it amusing that the stereotype is two extremes…poor folks with no teeth or rich blond kids in designer clothes…when really, most southerners are right in the middle.
@dlcohen Of course you should ask. It’s your D, you should do your diligence!! :). I think you just need to look at the different schools for what they are. The more goegraphically diverse, she is likely to be more comfortable.
FWIW, I don’t see much antisemitism in the south. Maybe some curiousity, but not bias. On the other hand, I think it is pretty overt in Europe…
Also @GMTplus7 I agree NY schools (and likely many other city schools around the country) are essentially segregated because people pull their kids out of public schools and send them to private schools because they can afford to do so. I think for the most part they want their kids to get the best education possible and with the financial state of affairs they can’t get it in NYC. Obviously there are exceptions, but I don’t think wealthier people remove their kids because they want segregation, but more because they want a better education and they can afford to get one. It’s a vicious cycle that has resulted in what appears to be segregation.
@stressingmom you are right. I think all of these comments from well intended people where I leave in CT gave me pause, but in the end there are mostly good apples everywhere and a few rotten ones everywhere. I do want my D to find a place with enough diversity so that she can find like minded people but also so that she can experience others differences. If she doesn’t like something, she can speak up about it if she wants to. I think these kinds of discussions are what are needed to break down barriers and stereotypes. We all have unconscious biases for different reasons and it’s important to bring awareness to those.