<p>My son was raised by a feminist mother. He likes intelligent women and treats them as peers. He is not interested in getting girls drunk to have sex with them. He isn’t majoring in a subject shared with any of his fraternity brothers, so they certainly aren’t in any position to help him with it, and in any case the focus in most of his classes is on lengthy papers, not on “tests” that could be stored and regurgitated. He is also not a racist: the majority of his close friends at college are not white. He is also not a homophobe: he was raised with gay godfathers, and does not tolerate such behaviors as using the word “gay” as a pejorative. For most of his college career he has received virtually a full ride in need-based FA, so he wasn’t the wealthy spoiled brat of legend. He certainly wasn’t “buying friends.” He had friends before joining a fraternity, and continues to have friends outside of the house. He is very intellectual and inclined to be introverted.</p>
<p>In fact, he shares NONE of the characteristics and motivations that ACCecil confidently asserts are shared by all fraternity members, plus several that have been thrown around by others on CC.</p>
<p>redpoint, I am going to confidently assert that your kids are cheats, bullies, drunks, and date rapists. While we’re at it, let’s throw in potential mass murderers. After all, we know that there have been terrible incidents in many HSs, and your kids are HS students, so it follows that they MUST be. Aren’t all HSs and HS students the same? Isn’t anyone who suggests otherwise simply a blind fool? Isn’t anyone who claims that their HS kid doesn’t systematically cheat on tests, participate in Facebook bullying or team hazing, or try to rape unconscious girls just delusional? </p>
<p>Stop and think about it for a moment.</p>
<p>You claim to be able to see shades of gray. See this: I, for one, am not a big fan of fraternities in general. I used to have the usual unmitigated negative view of them <strong>until I actually spent significant time in one and got to know many of the brothers very well.</strong> Then I realized that houses varied widely, and that some did not fit the stereotypes in any way. My S was strongly opposed to fraternities before going to college, and actually refused to apply to several top schools because of fraternity or fraternity-like presence on campus. Ironically, he ended up going to a school with a large Greek scene, albeit a very open one, and they do not rush until sophomore year, so students have time to get to know the various houses and go in with their eyes open, not as naive 18-yr-olds. (Everyone on campus is welcome at all houses for social events or just hanging out, except for formals. And no, his house does NOT have formals that involve overnight trips anywhere, much less weekends in hotels with coolers.) Students who would NEVER pledge elsewhere do so at this school. His fraternity has been good for him in certain ways, particularly in developing leadership skills and working within an organization. (Previously his inclination was very much towards being a lone wolf.) He has close relationships there. Nevertheless, in his opinion his school would be better off without fraternities–if they did something, such as developing residential colleges, that would provide students with some of the benefits. He now feels that, as a senior, he has outgrown his house to some degree. I think this is healthy. I would also not fail to credit his fraternity experience for some of his personal growth over this time. People often trot out the idea that kids could get the same thing from clubs. I can only say that I didn’t observe that to be the case for the vast majority of students at my college, which did not have Greek organizations, and I strongly doubt that he would have magically transformed into a club-joining, officership-seeking kind of person either.</p>
<p>This subject has been discussed numerous times on CC, and every time anyone who presents an experience contrary to the anti-fraternity party line is told that they are fools or liars. It gets old.</p>