<p>That was not serious, by the way. Well, maybe a little bit......</p>
<p>ditto that last statement, maysixxmom</p>
<p>That's why they make "Super Shuttle". You call, charge your ticket, get up with WC, make him some nice tea, escort him to the door when the airport Super shuttle pulls up, then head back to BED!!! Ahhhhh. lovely quiet house ;)
I'm wishing Dd was here about to head back to Rice. Still in Chile and fixing to head off to the wilds of Peru... I can't wait until she is safely home just before Xmas!</p>
<p>Son left after lunch. Now everyone is back in their home. It does get easier, I can't pinpoint when it was for us. This is his third year and we live close enough to attend his concerts.</p>
<p>MOWC, I've done the airport dump before -- in fact, I've been doing it pretty much with both my kids since 9/11, simply because with the security requirements of arriving 1-3 hours before flight time (depending on destination), long lines, and airport layouts that put most of the shops on the inside end of the security check points, there's not much point in my being at the airport with them. It was nice pre-9/11 when I could wait with them, and hug them at the gate before departure -- and I sure am glad that I could do that back in the days when they were "unaccompanied minors" flying with their IDs & luggage tags pinned to the front of their jackets -- but nowadays its easier all around if I just drop them off on the sidewalk in front of the baggage check area for their airlines. The goodbye's are conducted by cell phone after they have cleared security but before boarding.</p>
<p>We had a great "family day" yesterday. A quick lunch and then the Broadway Show "Wicked". Even S2 came with us (he's a theater-hater). S1 is a musical lover, so it was great. By the way.... I was reticent about seeing the show, given I can't stand the Wizard Of Oz... but... this was one of the most amazing theater experiences I've ever had -- and I go to Broadway often! From there we took him to Penn Station, where he got on the a 7 PM train to DC. (OK, first I booked him on the 7, then switched it to the 8 when I didn't think he'd make the 7, then back to the 7 at the last minute -- a little stressful for him, but I don't know why). He called to say he'll never take the train again -- only fly! And he's afraid to fly! But once we were 10 blocks from Penn Station, it didn't make sense to go to the airport. Only lost him 1 in travel time.</p>
<p>I've done the airport dump many, many times with him. He's traveled so much with his youth group, on summer programs.... but with my younger one, a less experienced traveler, I still walk him to the gate (you just have to ask for a gate pass, and they'll give it to you). He went to Australia this summer, alone, and I had a gate pass for him in NY, as did my friend when she put him on the flight home in Melbourne.</p>
<p>So, he's gone.... the room is messy.... I filled a big black trash bag last night....and its empty.... so is my heart. I still can't believe that I miss him as much as I do!</p>
<p>We had a great "family day" yesterday. A quick lunch and then the Broadway Show "Wicked". Even S2 came with us (he's a theater-hater). S1 is a musical lover, so it was great. By the way.... I was reticent about seeing the show, given I can't stand the Wizard Of Oz... but... this was one of the most amazing theater experiences I've ever had -- and I go to Broadway often! From there we took him to Penn Station, where he got on the a 7 PM train to DC. (OK, first I booked him on the 7, then switched it to the 8 when I didn't think he'd make the 7, then back to the 7 at the last minute -- a little stressful for him, but I don't know why). He called to say he'll never take the train again -- only fly! And he's afraid to fly! But once we were 10 blocks from Penn Station, it didn't make sense to go to the airport. Only lost him 1 hour in travel time.</p>
<p>I've done the airport dump many, many times with him. He's traveled so much with his youth group, and on summer programs.... but with my younger one, a less experienced traveler, I still walk him to the gate (you just have to ask for a gate pass, and they'll give it to you). Even tho he travels less, he did go the furtherst! He went to Australia this summer, alone, (his best friend moved there 2 years ago) and I had a gate pass for him in NY, as did my friend when she put him on the flight home in Melbourne.</p>
<p>So, he's gone.... the room is messy.... I filled a big black trash bag last night....and its empty.... so is my heart. I still can't believe that I miss him as much as I do!</p>
<p>We went from having 1 HS kid at home to having all 4 plus a spouse and it was lovely! They all get along, and the married one even invited the younger ones out to IHOP to visit with friends at 11 pm. (They now have more in common with each other than with fuddy-duddy, techno impaired Mom.)</p>
<p>Together we demolished a 16 pound turkey in two days, with different trimmings each day. Just enough left for 2 sandwiches & turkey carcass soup!</p>
<p>Now it's quiet here, back to normal except for laundering all the linens.</p>
<p>I had to laugh at the previous posters' descriptions of sons' fill-the-floor "filing" systems! Some people just need to see everything at a glance. That's what bulletin boards & horizontal surfaces are for...</p>
<p>We had to share both sons with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, but it was a wonderful weekend. Since I had not set eyes on either boy since late August/early September I was definitely hanging on tight, but I think they survived me! Everyone reverted to type, of course, but a great time was had by all. When the group ranges in age from 79 to 2 its definitely hectic, but 5 of the kids slept at grandma's and the adults stayed in a nearby hotel. Worked out really well. And whether at grandma's or at home the pile method of unpacking held true. Now multipy that times 5 and you can imagine what a mess the sleeping areas were. But thankfully they could all be closed off behind doors. S1 and his uncle ran the local Turkey Trot and so we headed out early Thursday morning with the little cousins to watch. It's amazing to have grown-up kids... and seeing them with cousins who are 2 and 4 brings back a lot of wonderful memories. Makes you realize just how quickly the time had gone. 11 of us even headed off to a Buffalo Sabres game Friday night. It was 3 generations..my dad, me and my kids, along with aunts, uncles and cousins. A heartbreaking loss in overtime, but it was so much fun. It was very difficult to watch them go off through security together on Saturday night, but it made more sense than braving the airports on Sunday since they both flew into or through Chicago. What keeps me going is that this is the shortest period between breaks all year and I know that they will be home soon. I am wisking them off for a week of their vacation for a nuclear family only trip that we are all looking forward to. I know from past experience that this is the only way I will get to spend any extended quality time with either of them. If they are home they sleep. eat a quick meal with us and disappear for the rest of the night. So, here's to time flying quickly (at least for me) for the next few weeks. WIth finals, papers and ED decisions due for my youngest, I'm not sure how they feel about time flying, but I sure can't wait.</p>
<p>All this talk about airports go me to reminiscing. At the first term break frosh year at Ohio State I took the "big dog" home in upstate NY. As for most students, exhaustion had set in sometime during finals week and the 20 hour bus trip didnt help with stops in Cleveland, Buffalo and Rochester. In fact the bus from Cleveland to Buffalo was me, the driver and packages filling every other seat!!!</p>
<p>My mom was dutifly waithing for me at the Binghampton bus station but failed to immediately recognize me as I stepped off the bus due to my haggard appearance.</p>
<p>Every other trip home was by airplane!!!</p>
<p>Runnersmom.... Your holiday sounds wonderful! We only had one day of extended family... my sister & her family (kids are 2 & 5) and my husband's sister & family (kids are 7, 10 & 12)... yes, its definitely nostalgic seeing my over 6 foot tall boys with their little cousins, and taking out whats left of the old toys for the little ones. Then S2 was away overnight with his HS cheering on their football team at the state championships.... and yesterday was our day for just the 4 of us.</p>
<p>This was definitely a long stretch .... son will be home in 3 1/2 weeks, then for S2's High School Feb break, we're going for a family vacation in Florida, and flying S1 from college for the long weekend to be with us. After that he'll have Spring break in March, then my niece's Bat Mitzvah a week later ... then he won't be home from Mid March till end of May. That's going to be tough. And then the summer. I'm sure I'll be ready to rid of him, and his piles of stuff, by mid-June. Maybe he'll take that sleepaway camp job again this summer. I'm trying to plan the Alaska cruise for the summer... but my princes will have to coordinate their summer jobs, and hopefully I can find them with 7 common days off.</p>
<p>nymom,</p>
<p>Might you be from Dobbs Ferry? Saw in the local paper (we're from Scarsdale) that they won the state championship this past weekend. Anyway, it was great. Watching the big ones play with the little ones gave my parents an enormous amount of pleasure. Everyone helped with the cooking and it was a great weekend. Worth not having them to myself. Saving that for Chirstmas week!</p>
<p>Freshman son was so happy to see his siblings he hugged them all. D was fine with that, other two sons are not particularly "huggers" and just rolled their eyes. Funny.</p>
<p>Runnersmom - "Go Eagles", yes we're from Dobbs... small world!</p>
<p>When I was talking about dumping WildChild at the airport, I was referring to dumping him THE NIGHT BEFORE his morning flight. :) Walking into the airport with a kid hasn't happened in our family in 5 years!</p>
<p>Oh... ok.. in that case... I'm too crazed to do that. My son had a 5 AM flight from Newark last Spring, and I walked him in.... otherwise, it's curbside only!</p>
<p>I’m starting to get the winter blues… so far, I handled my first semester without my S pretty well; I used just a couple of dozens boxes of Kleenex and that was it. I braved to write to him e-mails three times a week knowing that no response would come. Every other morning I had the courage to greet my child aiming him and being lucky sometimes to get a “sure”, “ok”, “going to class now”… and a “I love you” that I keep in my saved messages. Sometimes, after a deep breath, I sent text messages and I even called once a week! The post office had my presence every other week with care packages not only for my S but the whole bunch of friends. The only thing I didn’t do, it was visiting him at college (he is almost three hours flight away).
Approaching Christmas and after more than three long months, I’m falling down…is this normal? I’ m getting used to see my S’s room empty and clean (yes, clean! for once), I’m getting used to short conversations once in a while, but somehow the feeling of emptiness is invading me and I don’t know why now.<br>
It has never been easy to be alone without the rest of the family during the Holidays, but after 14 years of living in this wonderful country, I should be comfortable, but I can’t. What can I do to change this?<br>
This year was particularly hard for us, by the time my D decided to break up with her long time BF, our lives in this tiny town changed. One day we had a bunch of friends, the next day they were gone. We used to exchange gifts, baked goodies and cards with this boy’s family, and I’d wish I could still do that, but they are hurt since the boy is still heartbroken, and they don’t understand that I feel miserable for that but there is nothing I can do, something didn’t work out between them and I can’t change that. Missing this part of my life makes me concentrate in my “baby” boy, and maybe for that, I need him to be more often in touch with us.
I can’t wait to see him again. I will miss his next week birthday…:( If time flies, I wish it could fly faster until he comes.</p>
<p>Cressmom, sometimes the holidays are really tough for people like us who do not have families nearby.I understand what you are going through and it is just normal. I remember three years ago before S1 went to college how sad I felt and I even asked my nephew ( a psychiatrist resident at the time) if I needed some medications for it. He just smiled at me and said," It would not be normal Auntie if you did not feel that way. Your baby is going away to college. You should feel sad." We, too live in a small town and though we have developed friendships through the years, the holidays make me really miss my family more than any time of the year. I am really upbeat and a positive person but this year has been really tough for me because S2 will not be home this time next year because he will be away to college. I keep on picturing myself and my H all by ourselves and how quiet and empty our house will be. I know it will eventually get better but for now I just have the winter blues and the cold dreary days we have been having are not helping.
The other thing too that is making it worse for me is that one of my younger sisters was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago. She will be having surgery in a couple of days and then we will know the extent of the malignancy. Please include her in your prayers. She is only 37 and has two young kids.
S1 was home for Thanksgiving and he spent all of his time with us except for that one evening he went out to dinner with his friends. I will have to pick him up for Christmas break because he will not be able to get a ride with his roommate since they are both bringing home a lot of their stuff. I really do not mind it. It is only a 5 hour drive anyway. Well, back and forth, it is a 10 hour drive for me. I always bring his car when I go pick him up and he offers to drive part of the way, but then he falls asleep as as soon as we leave the campus. I just let him be, after all he would just have been done with finals.</p>
<p>It sounds like all of us have some emptiness when our kid starts college. It isn't as bad for those of us who still have one at home, but it's still not the same.
It can be awkward after your child breaks up with someone in a small town as well, especially if you shared friends due to the relationship. Perhaps it would be good to join some outreach/volunteer activities which get increasingly active over the holidays, helping families in need. That could help fill your time and add meaning to your life? Churches, community service organizations and others are always looking for help, especially for the holidays.
Is it possible to pursue a new interest or hobby? Take a course you've always wanted? Travel? All of these can help add some zest to your life and make you more interesting to your kids. I remember my folks started traveling considerably once we started college & we'd meet in cities where they had layovers if they were within a few hours drive of college (often SF or LA). I think it helped them get used to having their large family scattered at different colleges & grad schools.</p>
<p>Hi all. Since we started this thread, I thought that i would update it with current status. </p>
<p>If I look back now, after 3 months, I am amazed at what all has transpired over these past 3 months since our son went off to college. What a roller coaster. What a series of changes, mostly in us, and to some degree in him. </p>
<p>Current status: We (my wife and I) are fine. He is fine. No recent emergencies. He even called a few nights ago, spoke to my wife, he said he was bored - so he thought he would call home. (she wanted to say "who are you, and what have you done with my son?", but she did not. She instead just enjoyed the pleasant conversation. </p>
<p>We still have no absolute routine for calls. We attempted to start and maintain a weekly (on Sunday) call, that would last for 10-15 minutes. It occurs sometimes, and sometimes not. The initiation is still usually on our part. </p>
<p>Sometimes, he initiates, but it is still mostly when he needs something. We've grown to accept "crumbs", and be thankful. </p>
<p>There are times when we call him, and he does not answer, but returns the call a short while later. (that is ok, we figure he is in the middle of something with friends, eating, studying, etc). </p>
<p>There are also times when we call, and he does not return our call till the next day. This does not happen very often. When it does, usually it is no biggie. But occasionally it can be frustrating, because sometimes we have an issue to discuss with him - (financial issue, holiday plans - making reservations, etc.) and waiting a day can sometimes seem like an eternity.</p>
<p>Some weeks, he has called a couple of times. Some weeks, he may not call at all, unless he is returning our call. So, it is a mixed bag.</p>
<p>Probably the biggest change is that we (my wife and I) have adjusted over time. We have (subconsciously) grown to accept less. I think that initially, those first few weeks, it was the "not knowing" that was the worst. How was he doing? Was he happy? Was he eating? Was he sleeping? Was he going to class? Was he still alive? The unknown can be a horrible thing. </p>
<p>One huge realization, that we still wrestle with at times, and it is something that one of you parents suggested to us, is to remember to (1) not ask [too many] questions, and (2) have a prepared list of things to talk about, that are going on at home. In the begining, in the first few weeks in the dorms, we were very guilty of saying things like "how are you?, what have you been doing?, how are classes?, how are the dorms?, meeting new people? etc. - Deep down, we really wanted to know. We wanted to know how he was, what he had been doing, etc. Yet, on the receiving end, it is difficult to deal with question after question. When we started talking about things in our life, then it seemed to take the pressure off of him, and he became more inclined to volunteer information about his life. (It was actually quite funny when we started telling him different things that we had been doing. He responded with "so what is this, i go away to college, and you guys get a life?". It was fun, and was a major breakthrough (for all of us).</p>
<p>Over time, we have come to learn that he is having the time of his life in school. He has made lots of friends. He tells us that he is getting all A's and B's (we are thrilled if this is the case, as we expected some minor drop from his high school grades of all A's). He seems to like his Professors. His dorm is a very social dorm, and his floor is a popular hang-out spot. Since he thrives on being around friends, he is very happy. </p>
<p>We finally saw him at Thanksgiving. The first time since the middle of August. He looked good, and seems very confident, and very content. </p>
<p>A hint to others - of what NOT to do. Some cell phone companies, allow you to view the current calls, prior to the monthy bill coming out, via an online web interface. Some even allow you to view calls as recently as yesterday's calls. Dont' do it. Dont sign up for it. And don't spend any time looking at the calls. I have looked occasionally. The good news: he makes and receives dozens of calls each week. The bad news, few of the calls are to his home. Yet, it is also good news that few of them are to his home (i.e., he is fine, he has made lots of new friends, they call him, and he calls them. He has a life. Isnt' that what we all want for our kids. Lastly, you won't want to do it - because you may find calls at 3am on a school night, and there is not a thing that you can do about it. :-) </p>
<p>Thanks again, for the wonderful support from so many of you, during those first few weeks. Your help, your suggestions, really made the difference.</p>
<p>Hope that all is well, with you, and with your kids,</p>
<p>Regards.</p>