<p>Trig teacher: "Today, kids, we will be learning the finger technique."</p>
<p>Oh goodness, I have tons of quotes from my AP Physics teacher written down somewhere.. I'll find them soon.</p>
<p>Oh my god... my Spanish teacher was the most incompetent fool ever. </p>
<p>"That movie was the most ironical movie ever."</p>
<p>One time I was laughing and smiling, and she asked in front of the whooooole class, "why are you smiling?" I said I was happy is all, and she just said, "people don't just smile because they're just happy." And she gave me a detention. </p>
<p>On a lighter note, my physics teacher claims he was a spy or something for the us military and that he'd love to tell us more, but we didn't have the security clearance to hear it. he told really great jokes. too bad he sucked at teaching.</p>
<p>I went to a private school where we had to wear uniforms. This is my french teacher speaking:
"Mr ______ if you don't tuck that shirt in right now, I'll stick my hand in there and tuck it in for you....don't laugh at me. I'm a married woman. I've seen and done things you can't even imagine."</p>
<p>1 of my language teachers once said " I have 2 daughters, both are girls"</p>
<p>"If the fee for this physics test [physics bowl] gets billed to my address I'm gonna get a couple of my boys to lick you. I'm not Italian for nothing."</p>
<p>3 months ago, my AP Physics teacher from a long time ago...funny dude</p>
<p>Anatomy teacher:
"You can't take a pulse using your thumb because your thumb has it's own heart."</p>
<p>lol @ jk_91...whats the finger technique?</p>
<p>@ Aeneas: Maybe she was counting 3rd-io as its own conjugation?</p>
<p>I was in France on our school trip and we were in Montmartre in front of Sacre Coeur and I was noting how couples were.... coupling in a very provocative way (something you wouldn't necessarily see in the States... at least not in front of a church) but jokingly. So:</p>
<p>Me: Ms. _____! People are basically fornicating here!
French Teacher: God, Lily! Stop being such a prude!</p>
<p>...Good times...</p>
<p><em>Student gets an answer incredibly wrong in-class</em>
My AP Calc teacher: "Tommy, stop acting like someone with mental disabilities!' hahaha</p>
<p><em>Student talks to her friend/giggles obnoxiously, etc.</em>
my AP chem teacher: "<em>siiiiiiigh</em> <em>SPLASHES BEAKER OF WATER ALL OVER GIRL</em> Quick! It's hydrochloric acid! Omg! Get it off! Hurry!"</p>
<p>hahaha</p>
<p>briguy, I forgot, something to do with identifying a graph. I was honestly too busy laughing to understand what we learned that day. It was particularly funny because he actually made that, uh, fingering motion.</p>
<p>Hmm, the "quizzies" quote sounds like something from my school.</p>
<p>Anyway, here are a few I've heard:</p>
<p>Student: "I heard something about how Warren G. Harding was black!"
Another student: "Wait, wasn't Lincoln half-black?"
Teacher: "No, the thing about Lincoln was that he had a relationship with one of his slaves."
Me: <em>headdesk</em></p>
<p>(And these are just humorous, from one teacher known for his sarcastic and witty remarks)</p>
<p>Student: "Wow, I sense your sarcasm."
Mr. W_____: "I'm glad you sense my sarcasm, because I'm laying it on pretty thick."</p>
<p>Mr. W_____: "Do you want to cuddle on my lap while we read?"</p>
<p>Mr. W_____: "Now we're getting somewhere! Educational insults are flying!"</p>
<p>Mr. W_____: "In a moment, I'm going to impale myself with my own coffee cup over all the blank stares I'm getting." <-- And he <em>always</em> has his coffee cup!</p>
<p>Oh, good times, good times, in that class.</p>
<p>AP Chem teacher:</p>
<p>"____ (name that rhymes with Maine), in my butt, you are a pain...wait a minute..."</p>
<p>my middle school history teacher used to say, "catch the cow by the tail and go fishing!" what does that even mean?</p>
<p>Super-serious principal: "Sex is like a sandwich."</p>
<p>Everybody started laughing, and he never finished his simile.</p>
<p>Same principal: "I value the Aeneid more than any of your lives. If you and the book were caught in a burning building, I know who I'd save."
Same principal, to a student: "If this were Hobbes' theory of nature and we were both monkeys, I'd steal your banana and **** on your face."</p>
<p>After finishing a project in technology in like 8th grade, my teacher wanted the magnets back and he said "Give me your gizmos".</p>
<p>My physics teacher said "Thats what she said!" replying to a student in the middle of the class, we all started cracking up.</p>
<p>We've had a few male teachers use "That's what she said!" at the best times (all-girls school).</p>
<p>Poetry teacher: "...nature and all the trees are having sex!"</p>
<p>Physics teacher: "now depending on the size of the bottle, you'll have to decide if you want to use a big nipple or a short nipple" (we were making lamps).</p>
<p>driver's ed teacher: "Now, you want to go in while the engine's hot, and pull out while the engine's cold." </p>
<p>Is my mind just perverted? I was the only that that started laughing at this statement.</p>