<p>
[quote]
Not to mention that student debt isn't bad debt to have...
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Any debt that one cannot afford to pay while also keeping a roof over their head and food on the table is bad debt. But, of course, that does not mean it's polite to inquire and/or comment on someone else's debt.</p>
<p>I sometimes say that the one choice that guarantees a job is the military and my kids don't qualify for health reasons. That generally shifts the conversation quickly.</p>
<p>I sometimes say that the one choice that guarantees a job is the military and my kids don't qualify for health reasons. That generally shifts the conversation quickly.</p>
<p>My major was sociology which wasn't all that "practical" but didn't keep me from getting a law degree & later starting a non-profit that I love! I'd say that all my schooling & experiences have been useful in helping me evolve to where I am--personally & professionally.</p>
<p>Ugh...my husband's ex-wife is always is always making cracks about whether or not my daughter will be able to get a job. She knows nothing about my daughter's intended career path in terms of hiring, but she likes to get her digs</p>
<p>Thanks for the support, parents. I know I need to brush it off and remember that, as one poster said, it's just not a subject for public debate. I really do have a sense of humor, and I should be using it when I get The Question.</p>
<p>I understand completely. We got so many questions and raised eyebrows four years ago when people learned that S got a NROTC scholarship and was planning a military career. He was a top student in h.s. and many seemed to think it was a waste of his intellect. One person even asked "Isn't S very smart? Shouldn't he be a Dr. or Lawyer?"
As if no smart person would choose the military?</p>
<p>S will graduate/commission in May. Even after all this time people (who I have explained this to multiple times over the years) are still saying to me "So now does S have to go in the Navy when he graduates?"<br>
I just smile and say "yes, isn't he lucky to not be job hunting now".</p>
<p>The people who make rude remarks in this genre are slugs. I have known adult professionals who bashed other people's choice of profession (you'll never make a living kind of thing ) too. I am usually quick on the return snappy remark, but I use it sparingly. Most people are not worth it. One that I would offer you would be something like "Oh, if X can't get a job, he'll go to law school or B school like everyone else that is unemployed." You can go to law school or B school with just about any major that you did well in, so it is true as well. </p>
<p>On the side track of student loans and happiness, and is it worth it, I have a relative that has six digit loans for a graduate degree from a top school. The relative is also having trouble paying the loans, and although still says how could a person have given up the opportunity to study at such a great school, when the house of cards falls down it won't be so great. In a few years the employment situation should improve for this person, but what to do in the meantime? I personally would not have embarked on such a course which was totally predictable given the career path from the outset. Could have gone to another grad school for same degree for much less total debt.</p>
<p>My son would like to major in English. He is still in hs. I have already gotten the question, "What is he going to do with that"? I don't see a problem with it. I think it can be a very versatile degree. I think that a lot of companies would like to hire employees that can write well. I don't think that one must go into teaching, or go to law school after graduating, although those certainly are options. </p>
<p>A friend of mine has a son who wanted to major in theatre and his parents did not like that idea. The son's professor called his parents (this professor worked at very large public U., so I am impressed) to talk about why theatre is okay. Parents were still lukewarm on the idea, but that phone call allowed the kid to get the nod to go forward with his theatre major.</p>
<p>Also, my older son was accepted to a OOS public that was not a flagship, but a nice school. Someone asked if my son had been accepted anywhere yet. When I told this person the school that my son was accepted to at that point (my son was accepted to 10 schools by the end of the process), I got the most puzzling look, but not one nice word. I found that to be quite rude.</p>
<p>I've also gotten the puzzled and surprised looks when people find out that my son goes to a state flagship many of them have not heard of ("but he's so smart. . .). </p>
<p>I do try too hard to defend his choices--which I personally find really exciting. Note to self: It's their problem; don't be so defensive.</p>
<p>I'd rather have my kids be responsible for own successes and failures rather than impose mine upon them, no matter how well intentioned.</p>
<p>"How can you let him study XXXX? The field is dying. He won't ever get a job." My usual response is to say that the field is not dying, just changing dramatically, and that with his choice of school he's positioned himself to get the best possible, forward-thinking education and make the best possible contacts. But that's never a conversation stopper."</p>
<p>The conversation stopper is simply not to engage in the conversation. "He's really enjoying it and spouse and I are so proud of him. Now, how about some bean dip?" I agree with Booklady; if you try to justify it by talking about employment prospects, etc., it gives the impression that it's important to convince them and that their opinion on the matter is worthwhile.</p>
<p>btw, just to set the record straight....the people I was referencing in my post re: debt for high priced schools....in these cases, it is the parents who are going into debt for their little darlings; they wouldn't think of telling their kids that they need to take out loans to go to their "dream" schools.......the parents are going into hock.......</p>
<p>My daughter gets a little offended when people just ask her about her studies and major and just quickly change the subject. She also gets the " but you could've been a doctor or lawyer " attitude from a lot of people.
I get the response to the journalism major repsonse...a lot of people think print journalism is ging to become a thing of the past , but we still will need daily news and not just from watching TV. I read newspapers online and don't see that going away.</p>
<p>It is NOT just the NE, I just say, can you believe it?! They shake their heads and feel sorry for me, but I don't worry about her.</p>
<p>Is it really rude to ask about schools and majors?</p>
<p>Or are the negative/critical reactions the rude part?</p>
<p>I'm wondering because I'm an asker. I have a sincere interest in the life paths of seniors I encounter. I always respond with validation and good wishes no matter what they want to study or where. </p>
<p>But now I'm hearing it's rude to even ask. What a shame. The biggest, most exciting milestone in a kid's life so far is now an off-limits topic.</p>
<p>I ask too and don't think there is anything wrong with it. I also don't pass judgement on their choices and show interest in all. It is fun to see the passion they have for their choices..even if they aren't sure what they want to do, I still feel the need to give words of encouragement and not be condescending if they choose an offbeat path or tell them to minor in something else so they have something to " fall back on "
That is something I cringe at</p>
<p>I find the negative reactions the rude part. I just think engaging a senior in this line of questioning is unnecessary. They're stressed enough. I'll only talk about it with close friends.</p>
<p>^^My point wasn't that it's rude to ask. I ask, too, out of sincere interest. I love hearing what my friends' kids are up to. I am impressed by the creativity and variety of their choices, as well as their enthusiasm for exploring new things. I also love it when they don't know yet! These are great milestones to celebrate. The negativity and the misinformation are what bother me. "Why would he want to do that?" "[Snort.] Good luck finding a job." Both of those are direct quotes! I just need to ignore them.</p>
<p>geezer: as I have gotten older, I have purged "toxic" people from my life........it sounds like this came from a "friend", which I agree, is very hurtful and downright mean....if this is a pattern from this person, I define it as "toxic"...if it's an isolated incident, there are some good ideas on this thread......</p>
<p>as one who has dealt with this often, it's not easy......</p>
<p>Looking back a few years, I did strongly discourage my daughter to pursue a particular major that she thought she was interested in. I just couldn't see paying all that money for a degree that would make it extremely difficult to be employed.
But I wouldn't dare to say that to other people about their choices</p>