<p>My daughter's major is English/secondary education.</p>
<p>It is surprising the number of times she has been asked why a bright with so much going for her wants to teach.</p>
<p>.... um... we would prefer to have teachers who aren't bright?</p>
<p>I was once told by a pretty reputable CEO that college is about discovering a passion, setting a goal and completing it and learning who you are. My husband was a history major - not exactly a fit for his business acumen but the truth is, when you know history you have a pretty good feeling for how history repeats itself.</p>
<p>How about questioning the college major choice of a 15 year-old h.s. sophomore? I wouldn't expect a 15 year-old to have her life path set in stone, but it is lovely to hear her dreams. Lovely until the nay-sayers start declaring how impossible it will be to support a family on the kind of salary one might have in that field (please, child, don't need to worry about supporting a family when you are only 15!). I just say that it is more important for my kid to be happy. Even the nay-sayers find it difficult to criticize being happy.</p>
<p>S is majoring in psychology, and minoring in theater. I don't know if anyone has ever questioned to me his choice of a major. Since my S's major isn't any of their concern, if someone questioned it, I'd probably ignore the question or say something like, "It's his life." I wouldn't feel a need to get defensive.</p>
<p>S is majoring in mathematical economics and minoring in dance. I've had a few who raise their eyebrow at dance, but I offer to email them a utube link to some of his performances.</p>
<p>I don't get defensive. Heck, I envy S for mixing passion and academic/professional interests. Wish I'd done that.</p>
<p>07DAD: totally agree...I envy my daughter for doing the same.....</p>
<p>S2 has no idea what he wants to major in; some are finding that hard to believe. He is often asked how he can choose a school without knowing what he wants to do, he replies he wants one where he can find out. S1 is in a cross-disciplinary major that is not immediately self-descriptive, when questioned about a job, I say, "The data are pretty clear, there is little correlation between college major and eventual occupation, except for engineering and some hard sciences, so I guess he can do whatever he wants to do."</p>
<p>geezermom some people have no tact. Can you just refuse to engage? How about something like "I raised him to make his own choices and I'm proud that he is." delivered with a level stare and a "put that in your pipe and smoke it" attitude.</p>
<p>People ask me about D's major a lot...as in has she picked something useful yet? I have begun saying that her major may sound unemployable but she will be educated. If I wanted her to get a job I'd have sent her to trade school.</p>
<p>I think a lot depends on who the person is who is asking. If it's somebody who has some emotional investment in your child (a family friend, a member of your church, a relative), they may be asking out of genuine interest and concern. While their questions may be tactlessly stated, they may actually be worried that your child will have trouble getting a job with that major (as you may also be, really). If the person is kindly and well-meaning, I think you can respond directly, as in: "Well, that's always a concern, but we believe it's better to be happy with what you're doing, even if you're not making as much money as you could be. And Junior has always wanted to..."</p>
<p>"While their questions may be tactlessly stated, they may actually be worried that your child will have trouble getting a job with that major (as you may also be, really). "</p>
<p>They also may be asking to find out info that may be useful to their own kid. Perhaps, for instance, their kid is making a mistake by majoring in business or engineering. Maybe your kid knows something important that their kid hasn't yet heard.</p>
<p>"We have confidence in him/her. It will all work out." Then smile. :D</p>
<p>I have a friend who is very fixated on her kids getting career degrees- one an engineer, one a nurse. She talks about it a lot, mentions "what are they going to do with that" that being any non 'vocational' degree.</p>
<p>But she also is so obsessed with the economy it is crazy. She has a govt job with seniority such that 20 people would be dumped before her and she and her DH have lived for years on her salary, using his for investments. His is not guaranteed salary and there is nothing guaranteed in his future.</p>
<p>This friend is so stressed that every time we have talked since last Sept that she goes over the economy and her concern about her DH having no job. The no job means nothing guaranteed and they have not lived on his salary in 5 years anyway, so chill out! </p>
<p>But this big picture does put her focus on impractical degrees in a different light, she is not saying they are crazy, she is mystified some one would take that risk and not pick something 'guaranteed' to give you job training. I take her comments to mean a] how can you stand to do that and b] how will they find a job or career, tell me how that works??</p>
<p>I feel your pain. S goes to a "Great Books" school with no majors. It is very hard to explain that he will receive a degree in "Liberal Arts," and doesn't have a major.</p>
<p>What will he do with that? Sky's the limit! Grad school? Wait tables? Live in my basement and go to CC?</p>
<p>"Can you just refuse to engage?"</p>
<p>I agree that this is the best strategy. All you need to say is "He's doing well and we're very proud of him."</p>
<p>I'm quite sure Miss Manners would agree with Hanna. Politely close the subject and move on.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Do other parents get the "what-are-you-thinking?" question? What do you say? Or is this something that happens only in the prestige-happy, know-it-all Northeast? I'm continually amazed, never prepared with a good answer, and really, really sick of it. (I know I should probably shrug and walk away, but I'm a little testy about it today because the most recent question came from someone I otherwise like.)
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Just remember . . . "The thoughtless will always be with us." :)</p>
<p>I think the best reply kind of depends on your mood and how much fun you want to have, but you should never actually engage with the nosy, rude question being asked. An all-purpose reply for "He'll never get a job," or "That field is dying," can be:</p>
<p>"I <em>KNOW!!!</em> We're so proud of him!" Let them puzzle that one out.</p>
<p>Then there's the category of nosy questions, like "How much does she think she can make doing <em>that?</em>" or "How much is tuition at a fancy place like that?" or "What makes her think she can get into [exclusive school]?" I find these questions are best handled with:</p>
<p>"Why do you ask?" Regardless of the answer (e.g. "I'm just curious"), follow up with "Oh." Say nothing more.</p>
<p>I tell them that jobs are rough all over, no one is guaranteed a job in any field! We do have it easy, though, geezermom. Imagine what comments my friend whose son is majoring in Theatre Arts has to hear!!!</p>
<p>^^ I agree. My son has a good friend who wants to be an opera singer. His mother responds with a knowing smile: "Those with true talent will rise to the top." My husband (who never gets asked these questions) says a good retort would be: "Yes, and when he doesn't have a job, he'll be able to put those wilderness survival skills that he learned in Scouts to such good use!"</p>
<p>somemom, your friend sounds very much like my mother, in the sense that she feels college should be for a vocation, so these majors are acceptable: actuarial science, accounting, engineering, education certification, and management. When she found out that we were exploring a liberal arts college, that equated with liberal arts major and she let us know how against that she was. I have been trying to explain the concept of a liberal arts college and she still has trouble grasping it, and it has been several years. She views college as a white collar trade school where one prepares for a vocation, IMO.</p>