<p>I’m not posting a picture because I’m not trying to convince anyone here (not to mention it’s against the rules). You can think I’m ugly; it won’t make any difference in my life. I know I’m good looking because from the ages of 13-18 the only success I got with girls was due to my looks. When I go to the club with friends I always have chicks approaching me and any time one of my sister’s friends meets me my sisters will later tell me that her friend said I’m hot, etc. I’m sure you wish I was ugly, but I have good genes. Not only in looks either. I have a 3.8 GPA after 4.5 years of university (finishing up my engineering degree this year) and am a good athlete as well. Sorry to disappoint you. I’m a bit narcissistic, yeah, but it’s hard not to be.</p>
<p>And trust me looks are extremely important whether you’re a model or not. I can say almost anything I want and chicks will still think it’s funny. Being good looking opens so many doors it’s ridiculous. People just respect you more in general. Although there are many jealous haters as well.</p>
<p>And no the comment I made wasn’t a joke. My current girlfriend is gorgeous and I wouldn’t settle for a lower quality chick. She actually has a good personality too, though. I lucked out with this one.</p>
<p>I don’t have time to read all of the previous posts so this was probably covered but . . .
you probably are not very good looking. No offense but people generally think they are about 2 to 3 points (on a scale of 1 to 10) higher than they actually are. Also, parents tend to inflate children’s impressions of themselves. College is when most people are forced to come to grips with the disparity of what the think they are and how they are actually percieved.</p>
<p>If guys are not paying attention to you, you are not physically attractive to them - it is that simple! </p>
<p>So what is the solution? If your weight is a problem, go to the gym. If it is your face there isn’t much you can do. Work on your personality and understand your limits (i.e. lower your expectations - physical requirements - of your possible mates). You have to realistically evaluate yourself to date within your “league.” I mean this from a physical point of view only. Don’t compromise too much on a mate’s personality, character, etc. since these are lasting.</p>
<p>Finally, don’t feel too bad about being homely. Everyone gets ugly sooner or later. Look at the homecoming queen when she is in her 40s and tell me what you think.</p>
<p>^ I’d rather get hit on by no one than the creeps I had to deal with. I get creeps and only creeps. If it was just ugly people, I would get over it, but no, many of these creeps were actually decent looking. Also, *** is it with me getting approached by people old enough to be my dad?</p>
<p>Oh yeah, my dad basically told me I’m a loser yesterday, so much for “inflation”.</p>
<p>I guess I should make up some ******** like I want to be celibate, I’m very religious, or I’m waiting until marriage. Most people would leave someone alone if they say that, especially if it’s a girl. As a matter of fact, I’ll look noble woman instead of a loser.</p>
No, your dad was throwing a test at you. He wants to test your “inner game” (your self esteem and confidence).
He still LOVES you!!!
In general, I think people would respect those points because there’s not much of an argument that one could do to get you into doing stuff you don’t want to.</p>
<p>For those who are saying I have unrealistic expectations - I’m only 5’2 and I know it, as long as he is at least 5’6, height does not matter. Most women refuse to be with a man under 5’9 and that’s pushing it…
Then again I’ll probably be involuntarily celibate unless I decided to go with the creeps or emotional wrecks, so what’s my point?</p>
<p>I think you mentioned that you come off too strong? That’s not necessarily a bad feature. I know two girls on my floor who are like that. One is a dancer, very independent thinker, kind of a tomboy, and a sweetheart. The other is very confident, always dressed to kill, and just very classy in how she acts. They both have strong personalities which might scare off potential boyfriends (for now)…but later on I think they’ll be very successful. </p>
<p>For me, I think I’d prefer being friends with a boyfriend first and letting it transition into a relationship if that’s where it looked like it was heading; an effective firewall against “creeps” :p. </p>
<p>Not saying that one shouldn’t be selective, but how much of a chance did you give all these creeps and emotional wrecks that are constantly plaguing you? Is it possible that a really nice guy who’s just bad at first impressions lies beneath the surface of a creep? :p</p>
<p>…And after reading the entire thread (can’t sleep, nothing better to do :p)</p>
<p>I can kind of relate. I’m very hard on myself. I go through cycles of low self esteem and extreme self consciousness. I get frustrated about features and characteristics that I can’t change with a Mary Poppin’s finger snap. </p>
<p>It’s easier to just forget all that and focus on what you can change, and then question if you want to change. And why change? Is it to impress a mystery man, or is it for you? Can you honestly and absolutely say that you would be truly happier with a perfect boyfriend (by your standards) than without him? If you’re not happy now, there’s no guarantee that you’d be happy then either.</p>
<p>TA3021, since I remember writing to you in previous threads I’m guessing you’re going through your semi-depressed stage again. Nothing wrong with that, we all go through periods of insecurity and low self-esteem, so just remember this too shall pass and you’ll probably meet a nice non-creeper when you least expect it; it’s corny but I’d bet for a good chunk of people on this board it’s proved true.</p>
<p>Don’t mind the people here telling you you’re ugly; they know nearly nothing about your situation, your social circle, and really are just jumping to conclusions. Even if you aren’t beautiful, I know plenty of people who do just fine meeting nice guys and since it doesn’t sound like you’re looking for a supermodel boyfriend, I’m sure you don’t need to be stressing over the possibility that that won’t happen for you. Remember that you’re still young; if you went and glanced over at the parent cafe, you’d notice some parents didn’t even start <em>dating</em> till their late twenties, and now they are happily married.</p>
<p>Honestly, if you feel the need for a boyfriend it’s probably a blessing you don’t have one for now: neediness cultivates extremely unhealthy relationships (I would somewhat know, lol). Just work on yourself and enjoying break for now, and when you are feeling good about yourself again maybe then you can let someone else into your life.</p>
<p>^ You have a point. I wish I could go back to the years where I didn’t measure my worth by how many events I go to or how many people talk to me. I used to be just fine being alone reading or watching a movie. It’s just that people talking about stuff like how you have to go partying every weekend, get drunk and have sex or else you’re a loser with no life.</p>
<p>haha, yeah you should totally take those college students seriously because they clearly know the meaning of life :P. It’s not like they put stock into meaningless things because they’re too young to do the more important stuff like work a job they love, be financially independent, or have a family. Nope, they’re just the world’s smartest people, lol.</p>
<p>Rather than hanging out with college students who think life is a coolness contest, why don’t you try to find friends you can just talk, debate and relax with without worrying about having to constantly impress them? Rest assured, such people exist :).</p>
<p>That’s so true. I think the vast majority of the people here are on the losing end of the contest, thus the reason they are here. Actual cool kids don’t go here outside of utilitarian reasons, as they are busy having y’know actual lives. </p>
<p>I’m not trying to offend anyone, but it’s the truth. Just sayin’</p>
<p>^ I’m repeating what I’ve read here and throughout the Internet. I’m not the first and will not be the last person to say that the Internet is for losers. Everyone has said it in some shape or form before. Again, I’m not trying to offend anyone.</p>
<p>My point is for everyone to stop thinking highly of themselves when they are practically in the same position. If one is gonna tell someone to ■■■■ WoW, one should ■■■■ of screwing around in forums.</p>
<p>Your attitude that shows through your posts is revealing. Confidence and self-esteem is everything. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, but especially in college, men are not going to want to go anywhere near some nut that is completely dependent on other people and has no faith in herself. Sorry to put it that way, but that’s how you’re coming through in this thread. </p>
<p>The first step to getting attractive men to approach you (this goes for guys getting women too): you have to be happy independently. When you’re in a relationship or hypothetically, you can’t let your “world” suddenly mold around them. You have to be able to stand on your own two feet before you can expect anyone to take you seriously. The very fact that you made this thread, and your continued self-deprecation throughout the entire thing, shows that you have no confidence in yourself, and you are just looking for someone to hinge your life on, for someone to give meaning to your meaningless life; it doesn’t work that way.</p>
<p>Put yourself in my shoes. </p>
<p>Alright, she’s moderately attractive. Maybe a 6 or a 7, not bad. well she doesn’t smile too much, not a lot of energy. seems kinda insecure - **** what woman isn’t -, clearly not too confident in herself. she dresses okay but nothing too risqu</p>
<p>Do you think anyone’s life has meaning? Just curious.</p>
<p>I will listen to you. You make sense and I have nothing to lose. If this year doesn’t go well, at least I know I tried.</p>
<p>It’s not exactly about men, it’s about feeling worthy. The world is about luck, talent, and connections, if you have at least part of the trinity you will have an amount of success. If you have all three, you’re set for life.</p>
<p>Well, my personal belief is that the universe, existence, etc. has no intrinsic meaning. Life has no meaning in and of itself. You give life meaning through your actions and your values.</p>
<p>Basically, because you constantly seem to be seeking validation from men, you are falsely believing that a relationship is going to give your life meaning. If your life had nothing going for it to begin with, a relationship isn’t going to help (if you can even get one).</p>
<p>You’re exactly right that you have nothing to lose, and this year will go well. Trust me, and really believe it! Don’t think “it might go well”, know that it WILL go well. Whenever you plan to go for something, be it a guy or a big project, you cannot second guess yourself. Be confident and sincerely believe that you can succeed.</p>