<p>Scary, if you wish to be notified by email when there is a new response on this thread, go to upper right Thread Tools pull-down menu and “Subscribe”.</p>
<p>I can tell you from experience that college football is an eye opener for most freshmen. Some decide that the time commitment, stress, and general fatigue from football simply isn’t worth it, and they quit to pursue regular college. I’m not suggesting that is an issue with your son, but if it is, let him know that you love and support him either way. Good luck.</p>
<p>“we were told by his hometown girlfriend that she is very concerned”</p>
<p>Is hometown girlfriend at school with him or somewhere else? </p>
<p>If she’s not with him…as much as you and he may like her…is she “feeding” his unhappiness in anyway? </p>
<p>I’m impressed that he has found someone to talk with at a chuch. Hopefully, if the church is in a college town they are also supportive of his being at school.</p>
<p>Scary,</p>
<p>Make sure he knows that getting help doesn’t mean he isn’t a “tough” guy. You mentioned he has been hiding how sad he has been. Guys do that when they are afraid they will look weak. There is nothing weak or wrong in getting a little help now and then. </p>
<p>Also, as others have said, and I am sure you know, find out WHY he is feeling sad. Then you can address the problem.</p>
<p>Scary, You’ve been given good advice. A visit from you this weekend and a change of pace may be just what he needs. Or maybe the sense of ownership he would gain from showing you around the campus will make him feel more in control. He needs to know that you support him and believe in him, no matter what. He doesn’t have to be perfect. Together you will find a way for him to go to college, even if he does it without a football scholarship. </p>
<p>The best news is that your son has managed to go out and find someone he can talk to, all on his own. That bodes well for his ability to cope in the long run.</p>
<p>Scary - the fact that he’s found a church w/someone he trusts to talk to is a good sign. Also encourage him to avail himself of the college’s counseling office. They see so many kids (esp. Freshmen) going through this same thing and it can really help to talk with someone objective. And definitely let him know that you’d rather hear from him and support him with his troubles rather than having him going through things alone.</p>
<p>Don’t bring him home, mom. Teach him to be a man. He has to learn at some point; better now than later.</p>
<p>Remind him that bravery is not the absence of fear and doubt, but in pushing in in the face of fear and doubt. It is ok and expected to feel overwhelmed. It is super to figure out support systems and confidants who can help you through periods of adjustment. But coping with change is a critical life skill, one learned only on the job.</p>
<p>Figure out if it the the football piece of the equation, the academic piece of the equation, the social/emotional piece of the equation, or a combination of all of them.</p>
<p>
THE OP IS THE DAD. Would you have made the same comment if you had read the posts correctly? Just curious.</p>
<p>Would it be possible for him to stay at that school if he does not play football (does his scholarship depend on it? can you afford the school without?)</p>
<p>If can, let him know - it may relieve some stress and give him breathing room.</p>
<p>Jeez. Sorry. In my defense, this is something a mom would post. Get mad about it, why don’t you?</p>
<p>And to answer your question, probably.</p>
<p>Scary, our daughters large public university shared a story at orientation about a student. </p>
<p>A family member called the counseling office because she was concerned about her niece who had just unexpectedly, lost a parent and who was struggling to make it through her life and courses without telling her professors what had happened mid-semester. The counseling office contacted the student and assisted her, and also let all of her professors know what was going on. The school worked with everyone to make sure the student was in good hands and would be able to manage her personal affairs without worrying about her schoolwork suffering. This very personal attention coming from a very large public university!</p>
<p>Please! Do not hesitate to contact the counseling office or Dean of Freshman students. They want your child to succeed and are there to help. I am very impressed that your son found a church and has reached out to someone there. That demonstrates his maturity and his openness to get help. Please tell him also, that he can find support on College Confidential on the parents board. Best of luck to you and your family. We are here to support you!</p>
<p>dude, take it easy.
“this is something a mom would post.” Hmmm.
Anyway, the OP did indicate that he is a dad in one of of his later posts on the the thread.</p>
<p>
Your immaturity is just showing, here on the PARENTS thread, that’s all. As is your prejudice towords women/mothers. This dad is sincerely asking for advice. Not sarcasm.</p>
<p>I was giving advice. I simply put it in an easy-to-read format from the perspective of a student. I’m sorry that I don’t have time to write an in depth post.</p>
<p>I feel prejudiced against for not being a parent.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Then maybe you should be quiet and go away instead of making a difficult situation worse.</p>
<p>Don’t worry Dude. Every once in a while a student come along who everyone wants to set straight. Think of it as having thousands of mothers and fathers. 
The horror</p>
<p>Tell your kid to suck it up or you are going to sign him up for the Marines. He can be as stressed as his sheltered little heart wants to be in Afghanistan.</p>
<p>Nice, ssushi. This seems to be fun for you.</p>
<p>Dude, I don’t feel disrespect because you are not a parent. But I don’t care for gratuitously harsh and rude comments from anyone.</p>