<p>Dear Asian Student,</p>
<p>Thank you for applying to our prestigious university. Unfortunately we have given your spot to an undeserving underrepresented minority that has had the same opportunities and background you have. We wish you the best of luck on attending your local state school.</p>
<p>Haha, these are funneh. =]
I love #60: "Dr. Harvard Von Stanford-Princeton-Yale" LOL</p>
<p>Dear applicant,</p>
<p>"Congratulations! On behalf of the Admissions committee at XYZ University, I am honored to offer you a position in next year's freshman class. Your hard work, good grades, excellent scores, and outstanding community involvement has made you a great candidate for this university. You are sure to thrive here."</p>
<p>This is what we told to the applicants this year who were admitted. Unfortunately, you were not among them. What, you didn't really think we would let you in, did you?</p>
<p>Good luck elsewhere,</p>
<p>Dean of Heartless Denials</p>
<p>Dear Student, </p>
<p>What the hell was that? SERIOUSLY! You didn't even bother to look at our admissions requirements before applying. You do not even fulfill the BASIC requirements, just one being discovering a cure for cancer. Did you really think you had a chance just by having a 4.0 unweighted GPA, earning perfect scores on your SAT, giving back to your community through countless hours of community service, joining and actively participating in various clubs, going through millions of AP courses, earning tons of honors awards, and writing like a professional? Nice try, but you're not African-American. It's just not going to cut it. </p>
<p>We hate people like you. You waste our time. </p>
<p>Sincerely,
Adcom</p>
<p>P.S. This letter contains many carcinogens that will infect your lungs and give you cancer after you finish reading it. Try not being such a dumbass and find a solution.</p>
<p>Dear student,
The answer is YES! You are officially part of the class of 2012 at The X University PAPER SHREDDER! Also, selected students such as you can apply to our Prestigious Institution at the trash can. </p>
<p>Thanks,
Adcom</p>
<p>Also: </p>
<p>Dear Student, </p>
<p>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Adcom</p>
<p>lol number 60</p>
<p>Dear applicant,</p>
<p>I think we should just be friends.</p>
<p>-Adcom</p>
<p>Me: YES, BIG ENVELOPE! I TOTALLY GOT IN!</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<pre><code> You're kidding, right? Because you're totally inadequate and out of your league, the admissions staff here at Notre Dame wants to help you find a school that is more of a fit for you. In this envelope you will see a brochure for many community colleges that are probably (hopefully) willing to accept you.
</code></pre>
<p>Dear student,
We were impressed by both your grades and independent research. While we think it is commendable that you have cured cancer, we (the entire admissions committee) had just gotten back from watching the movie "I Am Legend" when we read your application. We would rather not admit someone who may have single handedly killed/infected every human being on earth with a virus that causes them to become zombies. We are sure you understand.</p>
<p>-Adcom</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>Don't think of this as a rejection, just tell yourself that we're on a break.</p>
<p>A permanent break.</p>
<p>Similar to the ribs we broke laughing at you. Very similar.</p>
<p>Thnks 4 the mmrs,</p>
<p>Adcom</p>
<p>Dear Student, </p>
<p>If you'll send us 41 cents in postage, we will send your application and records to the community college where it was intended to sent to. </p>
<p>Glad you made the mistake,
Student who Works at the Admission Office Because Work-Study Forced Him to</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>Congratulations! Your application has been carefully reviewed and it has been decided that you have made our acceptance rate go down by .01%! Thank you for your time and dedication to help us in our goal! We hope you can look fondly at the rejection numbers and see yourself not here. </p>
<p>Sincerely,
Inconsiderate Dean</p>
<p>these are hilarious! :P</p>
<p>leave a message on the applicant's answering machine using that Russian guy in the Simpsons</p>
<p>"Dear comrade,</p>
<p>In Soviet Russia, car drive you!</p>
<p>In Soviet Russia, university got rejected by you!"</p>
<p>or </p>
<p>"thanks, we just ran out of toilet paper"</p>
<p>Annabell: </p>
<p>DON'T TASE ME BRO</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>Really? Really? Really?! Did you really just send us this crap? We just used your supplement materials for blank tape and put your application in the trash. We suggest your local community college and for more realistic dreams.</p>
<p>Not so sincerely,
Dean of Admissions.</p>
<p>I don't get how you could find pleasure in sth so depressing......</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me. This will never work. Have a good life.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>PWNZRD n00b!!!! lolololololzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz RFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Student,
I just went and bought a nice steak dinner for me and my date with your application fee and some kid who also had about a 0 % chance of acceptance. The place had really good steak sauce, and I just thought that I'd recommend it to you seeing as you seem like a good candidate to wash dishes there.
We're better than you,
xyz university</p>