<p>Dear Student ID 39521</p>
<p>LOL You're OUT LMAO.</p>
<p>Best regards,
Admissions.</p>
<p>"From: Harvard</p>
<p>Dear student,</p>
<p>We are deeply, truly sorry and surely regret to inform you that you have been rejected from Harvard University. Unfortunately, your father isn't rich ROFL OWNED</p>
<p>LATER LMFAO,
Harvard"</p>
<h1>15 was my favorite. But, here's mine.</h1>
<p>Dear Student,</p>
<p>We are pleased to announce that you're a sucker. You should have known from the second that you saw our university that you weren't up to our standards. And well, you didn't realize and it shows. In actuality, I have posted your application on my bulletin board as a sign to future prospective students on what NOT to do. </p>
<p>We hope that you become a success in life though there's a very minimal chance of that considering you're not attending XYZ University.</p>
<p>The Laughter behind you,
XYZ Board of Ad.</p>
<p>Dear applicant,</p>
<p>You're too stupid.</p>
<p>regards,
XYZ College</p>
<p>Dear xxxxx,</p>
<p>It's not you, it's me...</p>
<p>Dear Student,
Your essay was marvelous. Your Grandma is absolutely the kindest soul in America. I mean, 80 years old and still feeding the homeless every morning, reading to handicapped kids, and giving vaccinations to kids in Ghana? She ranks up there with Mother Theresa. Here at the admission office, we all read it and a chorus of "awwww"'s echoed through the hallways. Enclosed is an application and a full-ride scholarship for your Grandma. Have a nice day!
-XYZ University.</p>
<p>Dear Student,
After careful review of your application, we have decided that you will be quite beneficial to our college community. Therefore, we are offering you a spot in the Class of 2081! Hopefully by then life experience will have made up for your lower-than-average test scores and GPA... Not to mention the recommendation from the teacher who's class you failed. Please consider this opportunity, and we look forward to seeing you!
Yours,
Admission</p>
<p>brieb, those are hilarious.</p>
<p>thanks :) :) :)</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>While we acknowledge that you are a cultured individual with a distinctly unique look at life, we saw your 12 classmates, all of whom lack culture and individuality, first. We were then going to increase the size of the class to accommodate more students like you, but we decided we'd liked our acceptance rate to go down to make us look more selective. Have a nice time at UMass.</p>
<p>Have a nice day.</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>Every year, we receive applications like yours and we thank god that there is an incinerator in the room. Unfortunately, we could not get rid of yours quickly enough. Below you will find official documentation of the University's law suit against you citing multiple cases of permanent emotional and mental damage.</p>
<p>See you in court,
Admissions Committee</p>
<p>"Dear student,</p>
<p>We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Harvard University's incoming Freshman class of 2012.</p>
<p>PSYKE"</p>
<p>Dear applicant,
thank you for applying to [SCHOOL YOU'VE DREAMED OF SINCE IN THE WOMB]. While we <em>regretfully</em> could not admit you, we recognise your talents and have enclosed a letter of recommendation for another institution that we think would suit you: McDonald's University, College of FLIPPING BURGERS FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL-BORN FREAKING LIFE, MORON! Thanks for wasting our time.</p>
<p>Die in a car fire,
Office of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Yale University. Must feel pretty good to know that we admitted W though, huh? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!</p>
<p>Love and Kisses,</p>
<p>Dean of Admissions
Yale University</p>
<p>lol I like 131</p>
<p>Dear Applicant</p>
<p>-Havard, :[</p>
<p>For traditionally all female schools:</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>We have reviewed your application for admission to All Female University.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>Sorry, the coin landed heads up. Try again next year.</p>
<p>Sincerely
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear Susan/John:</p>
<p>We have just installed a new computer program to automatically filter out applicants that do not meet our standard. We are very pleased the program is working very well. Even though you were not identified as a applicant warrant a read from the admission committee, please take comfort in knowing your contribution to our school's leap toward straight through process. We hope to attract more applicants like you in the future, combined with the efficiency of our computer program, we will greatly increase our school's endowment and decrease acceptance rate, which will lead to higher ranking in the future. Thanks for your interest, best of luck to you.</p>
<p>Kind Regards,
Admission officer</p>
<p>Dear Applicant:</p>
<p>You may have noticed that this envelope you have just opened is awfully thick.
You are probably anticipating the good news now from us at XYZ University, the place you have wanted to study at since you were five.</p>
<p>Well don't get your hopes up.</p>
<p>Thing is, the admissions committee thought it would be a riot to send you a rejection letter written in binary. However, we ran out of money for postage halfway through.</p>
<p>Therefore, I would appreciate if you distributed these acceptance letters to your friends, all of whom made the cut. Unlike you.</p>
<p>In payment, I have sent you an XYZ U pencil and a small box of tissues.
I know you will use them well.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>XYZ Admissions Committee</p>
<p>BTW, here's some advice if you are thinking about trying for our grad schools: don't bother.</p>
<p>Dear Applicant</p>
<p>With so many talented individuals applying to our school, it has become increasingly difficult to select a small group and it even hurts us to to turn down so many qualified and capable students. </p>
<p>Fortunately, you were not one of them.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
(insert name here)</p>