<p>For those of you with sick freshmen, my son loves Grandma’s chicken soup. I just posted about it on the Parent Cafe. It isn’t cheap but apparently it is ridiculously good stuff.</p>
<p>Analyst, I’m going to have to agree with you on the importance of the foundation courses. I think it’s just hard when it’s Thursday night and everyone is going out to “party” and you’re still doing a Physics problem set. When I think of my own struggles with high school physics I just cringe considering the types of problems she’s working on. </p>
<p>Re: illness; D had one bad bout at school and we just stocked up on Nyquil and Dayquil during break. The last thing you feel like doing when you’re sick is searching for the best price on medicine. Our local wally world was 50% less than bookstore or c-store prices on grounds. The price one pays for convenience. D is usually never sick so these cold/flu symptoms have really taken us off guard.</p>
<p>I didn’t know how hard this process of going off to college was going to be. S “seems” to be fine. He doesn’t say much about anything. I pretty much have to drag out every sentence. I was e-mailing everyday and he would send a one word e-mail back. Sometimes two or three days later. Fortunately, one of his best friends is very chatty with his mother and talks to her almost every day. Even though son is at a different school he and his friends Skype almost everyday. So I hear through the grapevine what is going on. </p>
<p>S did call the other morning because two students were killed in a car wreck and he didn’t want me to hear about it before the names were released and panic. (He knows me well). S talked to his dad for quite a while and told him about all the things that were hard. I expected it to be classes, meeting friends, etc. But he told his dad that he didn’t realize how much Mom used to do. He talked about waking up on time and how it was easier when I just knocked on the door to wake him (he has missed two classes because he overslept). Also, how much time it takes to wash clothes. Having to go to the store to buy his own junk food was also high on the list of things he now has to do for himself.</p>
<p>I must admit I was very bothered by the fact that he didn’t talk (phone, e-mail, etc) to me much and when he did I didn’t get any details. So, I finally explained to him that I had spent 18 years “taking care” of him and it is hard to just stop. I told him I didn’t want to be the nagging helicopter mom but I am a worrier by nature and if he would just give me 15 minutes twice a week and “TALK” I would back off. I explained that not only is this a growing time for him but also for me. </p>
<p>I haven’t e-mailed or called since Sunday. Neither has he.</p>
<p>Debate mom-- sounds to me like your son misses you terribly and is having a hard time talking to you a lot because of those feelings. Sounds so boyish (man-ish) to me to distance himself like that because of how he feels. Daughters can be so challenging because they share too much. Can’t win. But, yes, the adjustment is tough. Maybe we need a thread entitled “How are You adjusting to your freshman being gone.” :(</p>
<p>LOL!!! I am definitely having a harder time adjusting than my daughter! </p>
<p>DebateMom</p>
<p>This is so true. I am having such a hard time with this. Cold turkey hurts!</p>
<p>“So, I finally explained to him that I had spent 18 years “taking care” of him and it is hard to just stop.”</p>
<p>“So, I finally explained to him that I had spent 18 years “taking care” of him and it is hard to just stop.” </p>
<p>Yes, that describes it perfectly. Besides, they still need taking care of, it’s just that right now they want to pretend they’re self-sufficient, and they won’t really be self-sufficient for a long time. Do you think they would really want us to become “disconnected” from their well-being? When my mother died, it hit me that one of the hardest parts of not having her was that I had lost one of the two persons in the world that I could really COUNT ON. Even if I was forty-three years old at the time, I still felt like an orphan.
About twelve years ago I had to cancel all my morning patients because my S had suffered an accident at school. One of them, a sixty-five year old, asked me why I had cancelled his last appointment. After I explained, I asked him how old his own children were before he stopped worrying about them all the time. I will always remember his answer:
“Look, Dr., my father, God bless him, is ninety-three years old. He lives in Argentina, and he still calls Mexico once a week to see how his baby is doing.”</p>
<p>Good one Poet, and I agree. I do think it’s my issues at play here just as much as any breaking away or whatever it is my son is doing (that has him not calling me!). So… DebateMom, as far as the contact thing, it seems we’re in similar boats in the contact thing and we’ll just have to wait and see. But I like the adage that I’ve been doing it for 18 years and it’s hard to just stop cold turkey!</p>
<p>TheAnalyst - My S is coming home this weekend, too. We are very excited to see him. He is excited to see his old friends.</p>
<p>And here is how he summed up the difference between high school and college:</p>
<p>“They sure expect a lot here!”</p>
<p>(I was thrilled to know he is finally being challenged in a good way.)</p>
<p>D is actually doing well in her schoolwork. Got a 98% on her first Psych exam, an A on her first Photog assignment, and lots of props from the professor on her History papers. The only thing that’s not coming easily is Physics, but she’s attending the tutoring sessions, and doesn’t feel that she’s in any danger – just that she’s having to work hard. She told Grandma that she thinks one reason she’s so miserable is that she has alot much time on her hands, and is going to take 4 academic classes next semester (if she returns) to fill up more of her time. On a side note, it seems that IB really does do an excellent job of prepping them for college, at least academically.</p>
<p>Who does well in Physics?</p>
<p>I’m supposed to find out today how he’s doing in physics. I feel as if he’s not being straightforward with me about his grades. Maybe I’m wrong, though.</p>
<p>25% Rule… once my D’s hit HS we told them we expect to hear at least 25% of what was going on in their lives, spare me the HS drama please. But, I let them know this was the time to learn to establish their large support group; friends, sometimes parents of, teachers, faculty, professors, department support staff etc. This network was going to be there for them. Now both are in colleges 13/22 hours drive from home, next visit Christmas. The 25% gems we hear about are priceless. Our pat question is just ‘chasing some A’s’? Frees them up for ownership of the day to day…</p>
<p>I don’t think my son has many grades to comment on. Yes, he’s gotten back some labs and problem sets, but those are not worth much when it comes to points cumulatively. So it’s not so much his not telling me the whole story as much as there isn’t a whole lot of the story to tell. Then again, he could just be leaving it out to make it a mystery to me!!</p>
<p>ebeeeee - I just sent my daughter their matzoh ball soup with a challah, thanks so much for that!</p>
<p>My husband coincidentally had a business meeting in my daughter’s college town (and, yes, it was a coincidence since his assistant always sets these things up) so he took her to dinner. He was so blue afterwards but still really happy at how well she seems to be doing. Academically she’s not soaring like she did in high school but socially she is; we spent many of her four years in high school telling her to socialize more so we’re happy she seems to have found her niche. She’s not on scholarship nor is she going on for a masters so a B average is fine. Besides, it’s just the first term of freshman year and she’s adjusting so we’re not worried at all.</p>
<p>I’m happy and can’t wait for Parents Weekend!</p>
<p>I should hit Gma up for a commission!</p>
<p>Be prepared to teach then how to do their landry the fist weekend they are home.</p>
<p>drop your high school rule about your son not dating any girl with a tattoo</p>
<p>S2 just called to report on his meeting with his advisor this afternoon. The advisor told him that he doesn’t need to take an elective next semester, so the 19 credit hours called for in the curriculum for his major will only be 16 credit hours. He is taking 18 credit hours this semester (3 labs) and it has been tough, so he was ecstatic about that news and wanted to share it with me right away. He has one more exam at 5:00 pm today and then is done with the second round of tests. Only calculus, chemistry, and biology have been giving regular exams. His engineering class seems to be mostly graded on projects and English class on papers. He doesn’t take physics until the spring. Mid-semester grades will be posted on Oct. 15th. His goal is not to have anything below a B, but isn’t sure if he can pull that off or not. He is confident there is nothing below a C and he has a couple of As so his average should be above a B. He also seems to believe he can figure out how to do better on the next round now that he knows what to expect (i.e. every test comes with a twist requiring you to go beyond what you have been taught).</p>
<p>Eggmom, enjoy your week-end!</p>
<p>3 Labs! :eek: Yikes. D has two which is more than enough imho. And yes, it is different for them as they learn that the test will go a little bit beyond what they have been taught. I guess this is where they figure out if they REALLY like a challenge.</p>
<p>Heavens! 3 labs - How does he have time!!?</p>
<p>D got her first two tests back. She got an A in Linear Alegebra and 101 on her Marine Science test!! She is also almost done with her SCUBA certification class. She does two open water dives this weekend and then she is certified. When I contact her she is so not interested in talking. I am trying to take that as a good sign, but it is really bothering me.</p>