<p>Send him off to college. He'll be forced to grow up very fast if he wants to make it past the first month.</p>
<p>Hi to everyone, we decided we needed a much needed break and headed to Florida to stay at a relatives lovely home at the shore. It was just my son, my stepson my daughter and myself and my husband was there for 3 days. It was so touching to come back to so many well wishes and 8 private messages of such kind sentiments...thanks. This getaway was great for all of us I will say, it cleared my own head and I think it was great for my son.
To answer the above posted asking about the other kids, thank you for thinking of them...yes they are doing very well, my stepson is actually on a one week break and giong back to China where he got a fantastic internship for the summer and my daughter is in her theater camp, and loving every minute. My other son is away for a a cross country soccer tournament/camp. They are all very very busy so frankly they have not had to be exposed as much to all the goings on at home, a blessing in disguise.
I will say with guarded optimism, that things seem to be looking up....he has shown a few very encouraging signs that he is taking this situation seriously and when I sat him down and told him in the nicest way possible that I will support what he wants to do, and that maybe college isn't for him,etc....he got a bit scared even at the thought of not going and that was the first time he really expressed very openly how much he wants to go. Yes he has been in contact with his roomates, he is in a quad.....and they all have spoken and he likes the sounds of them. He is going out more and seems to overall be in a happier place. I am not saying this is totally behind us by any stretch but for the first time in a long time, I feel some encouragement.
We still have to deal with his addictive nature, with gaming, computers, pot,etc....so I will keep you posted but I really just wanted to say thanks so very much for all of those kind and well meaning messages, it was very heart warming.</p>
<p>I'm so glad to hear that things are a bit better, and that your son seems motivated to go to college. It sounds as if the change of scenery was good for both of you. Thank you for the update.</p>
<p>How nice that you and your family were able to take a break. I am concerned about your son's employment, though. From your prior posts, it appears he was to start work 7/14 in a "tough love" environment -- sick days limited to 1 day every two months, or he would be fired (post #106). I hope he wasn't freed up to make the trip b/c he was fired.</p>
<p>Or that Mom thought the trip was more important than work.</p>
<p>I wondered the same thing about the job.</p>
<p>I don't care about the job... sounds like the kid had some much needed time with the family. Whatever happened, I am sure he didn't just not show up and leave the employer in a lurch.</p>
<p>I thought of this thread when I read this quote today:</p>
<p>Henry L. Stimson said, "The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust."</p>
<p>Maybe that is naive in light of your son's actions--I don't know your son. I can't imagine having to drug-test my child every couple of days. I just can't imagine what that could be like. </p>
<p>Best wishes.</p>
<p>"Whatever happened, I am sure he didn't just not show up and leave the employer in a lurch."</p>
<p>Considering that he already had been fired from one job this summer for not showing up, I'd like to hear from the OP how he was able to go on a vacation while working a job that he had just begun.</p>
<p>Do you think she sent in the tuition check?</p>
<p>"The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust."
- Trust is very hard earned, and very easy lost. Kids should be repeatedly told about that from the time they barely understand a spoken language untill the time we parents are gone. Trust is not unconditional like love. If one was untrue once, one needs to work exceptionally hard to earn back what is lost.</p>
<p>Thanks for the well meaning concern, actually the ONLY reason he was able t go was becuase they closed down for one week so that everyone who works there could take their one week summer vacation, otherwise there was no way I was letting him take vacation time, I can assure you.
Turst is indeed a precious thing, he has a lot of work to do before I will feel like I can really trust him again, we are far from that point but I know him and I know deep in his heart he wants to change, so I am as most parents are, there for him through the thick and the thin though I think he finally realizes we were/are at the end of our rope and legally if he doesn't live up to our expectations, then he knows he could be out on his own, I think this thought kind of "sobered him up" a bit.
To anyone who can't imagine that I have to test my son for pot, count your blessings that you don't have to perform a drug test every week or so; but I am not ever too quick to judge either, I have found through my many years that it is often those that show the most disdain for the "unthinkable" to in fact have something going on with or without their knowledge, so honestly nothing surprises me and I am personally of the belief that nearly everyone has some kind of "demon in their closet" some choose to talk about it and reach out and others remain more private, its whatever works for them.</p>
<p>FYI NO, the tuition check has not been sent in because frankly our decision is "on hold' at this time.</p>
<p>Hope it all works out.</p>
<p>Aren't you posting about housing at GW? And they haven't made you pay tuition?</p>
<p>You're right. I noticed that too. Also noticed the post about changing classes around (I thought you had to pay before registering for classes and getting housing). Then noticed the post written as if she were her son and questions about retaking the SAT and transferring. He hasn't even attended college yet and all ready looking into transferring. A little odd to me but nothing surprises me anymore. The more I'm on this site, the more I'm coming to the belief that many of the posts and scenarios on CC are fake.</p>
<p>I am sorry to sound harsh, but this sounds like a supernanny type of situation, an immature child with a dysfunctional family ( or one who cannot set & enforce family rules ). Adult life has already begun whether your son has realized it or not. Contact me if you would like me to discuss toughlove solutions to your problem.</p>
<p>Both my kids registered for classes and received housing assignments before we had sent any tuition checks.
My son freshman year had actually moved into his dorm before we made the first payment on tuition. We had already made the housing payment.</p>
<p>mom60, you're right about that. We sent out our 2 tuition/room checks early so I forgot that they weren't due until the first week in August. </p>
<p>There is still something very strange about this whole situation. </p>
<p>Supernanny to the rescue.</p>
<p>I find it absolutely fascinating that the mom/son is contemplating a transfer to [url=<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/543180-please-help-me-i-need-all-help-i-can-get.html#post1060758945%5DWellesley.%5B/url">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/543180-please-help-me-i-need-all-help-i-can-get.html#post1060758945]Wellesley.[/url</a>]</p>